Re-evaluation

With the beginning of a new year approaching rapidly, I have found myself looking back over the past year, ok actually, the past months since graduation. I have never been good at dealing with transitional periods, so I just try to get through them the best I can. But recently, in the past week or so I have been getting overly frustrated with just "trying to get through" and have begun to take measures to change this attitude of mine into something more positive. I have begun the process (albeit at times painful) of re-evaluating my life as it is now.

I am taking steps to alleviate the crapiness that is my work situation by seeking out and applying for gainful employment as opposed to staying at a job that pays shit and takes complete advantage of employees to the nth degree and sometimes (if it is possible) even more than that. It is my personal goal to start a new job when I get back from my trip to Israel/Palestine, so I have a lot of work to do in the next two weeks.

I am also moving. Don't know exactly where yet, but I will be moving from St. Louis Park. I'm hoping for South Minneapolis, but it will probably be one of the burbs right outside Minneapolis. And the sooner I move the better. It would be nice to have everything done at the same time. A new job, a new apartment. And in either Feburary or March I'll be finding out what schools I got into for PhD work and I'll be deciding where I will be going, which is also exciting.

As usual I've gotten off track. The point is, is that I am re-evaluating the direction my life has taken the last few months and I don't like where it is going. I am taking steps to change things and am hopeful that it will all work out in some form or another.

My White Desert Wasteland

There are several things I greatly dislike about winter. First and foremost is the bone chilling cold temperatures, which make a person never want to leave the house/apartment until it is warm again. Second, the lack of sunlight. I need sunlight, to feel the heat on my skin and to be outside relaxing on a lawn chair or at the lake laying on a beach towel. Third everything is white. Not that I dislike the color but everything is so barren, like a desert but frickin' freezing cold.
Yesterday I looked out a window and it struck me how depressing and dead everything looked outside, while inside people were bustling around doing their jobs as lively as ever. My view was vast because it was from a window on the 48th floor of the Wells Fargo Center in downtown Minneapolis, so I could see far into the horizon and the landscape was wanting. And I felt trapped, like a bear in the winter that goes into hibernation, I too realized that a part of me has gone into hibernation. It almost felt like something inside of me has been shut off and I don't know how to turn it back on. It was sunset at the time and I found myself wishing that I had one more hour of sunlight, at least until I got to my other job so I wouldn't be driving in the dark with the rest of the crazy commuters like myself.
I can definitely say one thing for sure, I'm looking forward to spring, when I am able to turn back on that piece of myself that is hibernating and feel the sun's heat on my skin, enjoy the nice weather and take in the life that will return to this now white desert wasteland.