Dear Friend,
It's been 5 years since you were horrifyingly taken from this world and all the people who love you. I think about you often and wonder what you would have said to me about some of the things I've done in the past 5 years.
I "re-enlisted" at Luther Seminary and now have 2 Masters degrees from there. During that time, I met and fell in love with my husband Jason (remember when I said I didn't think I'd ever get married, well, I have and he's a pastor no less. ;)) He is the sweetest, most wonderful man. And remember how I said I would never move to some small town in the middle of nowhere but would always try to live in or near a city, well I've moved to a small town in Montana far away from a metropolitan area. Some days I handle it better than others. And remember how I said I didn't want kids, but maybe when I was in my late 30s early 40s I might consider adopting, well, I now have the most precious son in the world, Preston. He is one of the lights of my life. :)
It was not easy to pick up my life and move to Fairfield, nor was it easy once we got here. About a month after we arrived we lost our first child, which was the most devastating experience of my life. I can honestly say that I don't remember much of what happened from mid-July to the moment I found out I was pregnant again on Thanksgiving Day 2011. I remember going to our good friends' Tauna and Erik's wedding, and celebrating at a baby shower for really good friend Michelle, but other than that, most of that time is a blur. It was an eerily similar feeling to how I felt after I found out you had been killed and the months afterwards. I'm not sure what heaven is like but one of the only consolations I have, is an instinctive feeling that our unborn child is being well looked after until we see each other again. I had and still have that same feeling about you and all of the other people I loved and cared about who have left this world.
I used to be scared to branch out and take chances on people, on life. I blame it on my introverted personality as well as my past, plus some major anxiety about failure, but since I met you, I have found myself taking leaps and bounds into uncharted territory, with mostly wonderful results. I just wish you were here to share in them with me. I miss you and good-bye for now, until we meet again.
