This Stage of Life...

As I sit here thumb typing this with my 4 year old napping beside me, I am struck by what strange phase I am currently going through in my life.

I am sitting here with my 4 year old leaning against me napping, knowing this means he will be up till some ungodly time tonight yet unable to get myself to move him because how much longer will he want to snuggle up and nap next to me...

I know better than to let him nap too long but I let him do it anyway, knowing the consequences.  He will probably give us hell going to and staying in bed until about 11pm tonight and I will be cursing myself for letting him nap as long I did. 

It is a strange phase to be in right now.  No longer getting the extra snuggles during nap time, moving past nap time and no longer having that chunk of time for myself.  On the flip side, now we will be free to get out and do some fun things like play in our kid pool, enjoy more of the day and get him to bed at a reasonable time at night so then my husband and I actually get some no kid time together.

I like my routines and have a lot of anxiety around huge transitions like no more nap time.  I procrastinate transitions as long as I can until I have to just put my big girl pants on and walk through to the next phase of parenting, to the next stage of my life wherever they take me and hold on for dear life.

Being an Introvert in a Time of Physical Distancing...

You know things are bad when even the introverts are struggling with physical distancing.

Friends, I am struggling big time!  There are so many factors leading to this.  

1) The only time I am alone these days is when I go to the bathroom or take a shower.  The rest of the day someone else is always around.  This does not bode well for any introvert because we are not given the time to be alone and recharge.

2) Even us introverts like to have social interaction on a regular basis.  The biggest thing is that we have time to be alone and recharge afterwards. 

3) We miss interacting with our favorite people in person.  Interacting over video chatting and video conferencing apps helps with this, but those of us who are huggers, it is hard to not be able to share the love that way with our peeps.

4) For those of us introverts with extroverted kids, this time is a special kind of hell because they are always on and want to be social but we just want to take a break and quietly read a book by ourselves.  To help alleviate this particular struggle I have been doing extra reading time with my extroverted 4 year old.  It is not the alone time I desperately crave but it is a calm time where we snuggle up while I read out loud to him.  And bonus, I get to give and receive hugs!

I feel bad for complaining about my 1st world, middle class introverted problems when so many people in the world have it soooooo much worse than I do.  All I'm being asked to do is stay inside with my family and figure out how to get them to do some school work each day while they are distance learning through May 4th.  I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, games to play, a husband who has a flexible schedule who can be with us more than some parents can be at this time and online communities to help with my social loneliness during this time.

My struggles stem from within.  Loneliness, anxiety, fear, frustration.  Yet, hope, love, empathy, and above all faith continue to guide me and all of us through this historic period in history.  What will we look back on and remember about this time?  I pray that I will remember the craziness and have amazing stories of love and compassion to share with my boys and their children, of the love and compassion I see people sharing with each other daily.  We'll all remember the struggles and sacrifices each of us made in our own way, but let's hope we have more stories we can laugh about than anything else.

Until next time friends!

Sincerely,

Megan

Planning during our time of "social" distancing.

We live in strange times friends!  And though most of us will make it through this current state of affairs of strict "social" distancing, we will be forever changed by this collective experience, we are going through together but separately.

I am the type of person who likes to have a plan, a rough schedule to follow and I always write everything down.  I am a paper and pen/pencil kind of gal because once I write something down, I will remember it without much problem.

So today I took 20 minutes to make up a rough schedule for our days while the boys are out of school and Jason is learning how far technology will transform the way ministry is done during and most likely after this time of "social" distancing.

Okay, before I continue, I have a real problem with the term social distancing.  At a time like this, we absolutely have to find ways, and here is where technology is a blessing, to be in contact with each other.  Our extroverted friends need to be checked on because this is especially hard for them.  Our aging parents need to be contacted for the sake of love and making sure they are doing okay.  Parents with school age kids need to be checked in with to make sure they are not going completely crazy.  Everyone needs to check in with everyone!  I much prefer the term physical distancing because that is what we are being asked to do for each other, keep physical distance.

Rant over...

Back to what this blog post is intended to be about... Planning and scheduling during this crazy surreal time we are living through.

Today I sat down and planned out a loose schedule for myself and my boys while they are home from school.  Every day there will be chunks of time for reading, math, physical activity, speech exercises, social/emotional skills, time outside and music.  Once we get the full list of other activities from the boys' teachers those will be added to this list.  

But let's be honest, I'm not going to make my boys sit for long periods of time doing academic activities because 1) they won't and 2) that would totally suck for all involved.  So I put in a two hour chunk of time in the mornings and afternoons for Creative/Play/Education time.  There is Open time throughout the day, Nap/Quiet Time, meal time and family time.

I will try to add a picture of what the rough schedule looks like for the rest of our week.  Honestly, just putting this rough schedule together this afternoon has calmed my anxiety more than I thought it would.

I hope this helps some of you come up with a game plan, especially with those of you who have kiddos at home for the foreseeable future.

Peace and Love to you all!  This too shall pass brothers and sisters!

Until next time!

-Megan

And Just like Clockwork...

And just like clockwork my youngest son is sick with a nasty sinus cold again.  Why like clockwork, you may be wondering?

Because every single break or extra day off this school year, my youngest son has gotten sick with a virus, cold or stomach bug, which forces us to stay home when we could be out and about doing something fun on his day(s) off.

He and I are going stir crazy after three days of being quarantined from civilization so this nasty sinus cold does not get passed on to someone else.  Life has been this way on and off since school started in September.

***Soapbox moment: People!  If your kid is sick DO NOT send them to school!  Please for the love of all that is good in this world, DO NOT send them to school!  School is not a daycare.  School is a place for growing and learning in every way with others.  Soapbox moment over!***

Now, I know I am in a unique position in that I am a work from home mom and can be home with my sick kids when they can not go to school.  Many people can not do this; can not take the time off work to be home with sick kiddos.  And this is where we as a society have to be proactive and make a change.

We, collectively have to come up with a way for parents who work to be able to take days off without being punished with no pay, especially for hourly wage workers, to be there for their children.  I do not have all the answers to this issue, but one idea is to actually create strict structures in the work force that enforce the Family, Medical Leave Act.  Do not dock pay for someone who has to stay home from work to be with a sick child, instead have a system that puts aside money for each worker so that when they do have to take a day or two off to be home with their kids, they can tap into that fund and not lose any pay.  This idea would be hard to implement realistically, so I am totally open to more ideas for helping parents be home with sick kids instead of sending them to school when they are sick and getting others sick in turn.

I have lived through two millennium, four decades, and two centuries and what I see happening these days to anyone who is not too tier in income and can afford a live in nanny or daily nanny is appalling.  Parents have to choose between getting paid or taking care of their kids.  Say hello to what it was like to live in the 1870s-1910s, before unions started gaining traction and forced employers to give workers basic rights.  I suppose we should be thankful that young children aren't forced to leave school and work in sweatshops like in those days.  Oh wait, just kidding!  Instead of sweatshops it is now menial hourly jobs that pay squat so that they can help take care of their families and have money for their own basic needs.

Man, apparently, this is a tangent I have been holding in for a while.  And it all started because my kid is sick again from something he picked up at school.  It could have been our oldest who picked it up and passed it on.  Who knows, but let's start helping each other out and making it easier for parents to be able to stay home with their sick kids and not have to choose between getting paid and what is best for their families.

Until next time!

Megan

Self-Care and Real Life

As I sit here at my wobbly kitchen table, watching the snow coming down outside and waiting for my youngest son to get home from preschool, I marvel at how peaceful everything is at this moment.  In less than 20 minutes, that peace will go away and be replaced with the noise of an excited 4 year old who wants to show me his latest coloring page and art project from school today.

I have a long list of chores to do that I completely ignored during the kids' winter break and I could be working on promoting my direct sales business on various social media platforms in the hopes that someone pays attention and reaches out with a question about a product they want to know more about or help placing an order.  I am doing none of those things.  Instead I am typing up this blog post, listening to KOOL108, the best of the 80s and 90s (yup music I grew up with is now considered oldies), and when I am done with this post, I am going to read.

For my mental health and my ability to keep up with my 4 year old for the rest of the day, I am completely ignore my list of to-dos and allowing myself some much needed self-care.  I don't feel a bit guilty about it either.  I have learned the hard way that each day I have to allow myself time to do whatever I want and alone or I am miserable to be around for the rest of the day.  I am thankful that my 4 year old has school in the mornings this school year because I can have my alone time in the morning and be ready for the rest of the day to be around people and on the go.  Next school year he will have afternoon preschool, so I foresee many naps happening in the afternoons while he is at school starting in September, so I can recharge and be ready for the boys when they get home from school.

I am thankful that I can take the time to have self-care.  So many in the world do not have this advantage and so I make sure to take it so I can go out and be with my neighbor with my full gifts and self.  And so I will end this post with a call to action for all of you: make time to breathe each day and do something you enjoy for a little bit.  You are important too!

Until next time,

Megan

Reflections and Looking Ahead!

It is the darkest days of the year now, as we say goodbye to one year and begin another.  Funny how we end in the darkness and begin again as the light of the days gets slightly longer.

As I look back on the year of 2019, the word that comes to mind first is quick.  This year has gone by so fast.  As with every year there were moments of great joy and moments of great sorrow.  For whatever reason I am stuck on the great sorrows, yet bursts of joyful moments take over at times as I reflect on the last year of the 2010s.  

Some amazing things have happened in the past decade and in 2019!  To write about them all now would take the length of a book, not a blog post.

Here are some things I have learned in the last year and decade:

• Marriage is not easy or for the faint of heart.  It is 💯 worth the time, effort and love shared, but it is not easy.

• Losing a beloved family member and/or friend never gets any easier.  

• I am resilient and can get through anything by clinging to my faith, being willing to ask for help from my loved ones and not being afraid to seek therapy when I can't handle life.

• Parenting is the best, hardest job ever!  No exceptions!  I have never been more tired, afraid and joy-filled in my life and I wouldn't give up being a parent to my boys for anything!

• Small town, rural America is where it is at folks!  I love being a big city gal, but if you really want to make a difference in the world and people's lives, head to a small town!

• If I don't get between thirty minutes to an hour of alone time each day, I turn into a horrible monster and have a hard time functioning or giving a crap about anything.  This introvert is hardcore y'all!

• Time out with friends and away from my family is important.  Even though I still have that initial pang of guilt every time I leave to go hang out with a friend or a group of people, it energizes me to be around others without my boys around.  I am able to come home from my outing and again enjoy my family.

There is a lot more that I have learned bit this post is already long enough.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions.  I set goals and work on accomplishing them throughout the whole year.  I have set three goals for myself for 2020 to work on the whole year.  I am excited to get started on them and may even begin working on them a little early. 😉

So there you have it.  As we come to the end of a year and a decade, may you have a blessed new year!  

Until next time!

Megan

How I plan ahead

I am a planner gal.  And by planner, I mean a good old fashion paper planner with all the accessories.  In fact, not only do I have a fancy paper planner but I have a mini paper calendar that I bring with me everywhere I go so I know when I can schedule appointments, etc. or meet up with friends and family.  

Having both my fancy planner and my mini calendar helps me keep #allthethings organized for not just myself but my family.  I color code my planner; orange for family schedule, yellow for my husband's and Church events schedule, blue for my schedule, appointments, meetings and other fun things, and pink for my Mary Kay and Thirty One Business goings-on.  My mini calendar contains all the same things as my planner but is easier to bring with me everywhere I go. 

At the beginning of each month, I sit down with my husband for about 10 to 15 minutes and we write down everything we know about at that moment that is going on that month on our joint paper calendar that hangs on a cabinet door in our kitchen so we can always have it to refer to.

Once everything is written down on our joint calendar, I write it all in my fancy Keepsake Planner from Thirty One Gifts, in pencil and then highlight each category with the appropriate color, on the full month spread for that particular month, say December, since that is the month we are in right now.

Once I'm done with filling out the month spread in pencil and highlighters, I move onto each week and only write down #allthethings for two weeks at a time, again in pencil and this time not highlighted because things can change from day to day at a moment's notice, especially being a clergy family; my husband can be called to leave at any moment or have a sudden meeting come up which changes the plan for the day.  But having a good routine in place helps create flexibility too, which may seem counterintuitive.

Setting up my planner and mini calendar for the month and two weeks ahead of time, takes me about an hour.  Yup, all the things I just described above takes me about an hour.  If I can find an hour at the beginning of the month while being a stay-at-home mom and keeping everything going around our home as smoothly as possible, then so can you.  And trust me, making the time to get your monthly schedule organized at the beginning of each month will alleviate a whole lot of stress in the long run.  You will thank yourself for taking the time to do this for yourself and your family, I know I do everyday.