You'd think with only one class this semester that I wouldn't be so busy. Not true. With one class, work, hip-hop dancing classes, which I start on Tuesday, working on German, and the general business of life, I have few moments of solitude. It is hard to find time, and sometimes the motivation to sit down and update my blog, let alone necessary things that need to get done like laundry, grocery shopping, etc... and still have time to myself at the end of the day.
So today, I am going to attempt to relax and take advantage of the few moments of solitude I am blessed to have at this moment. I have a laundry list of things I should do, like thoroughly clean my room and dust the office, grocery shopping, upload pictures from my trip to visit Jason last weekend, and on and on and on.... But today, I am probably just going to watch some football, read some for Tuesday's class, do a load of laundry and call it a day.
This week is going to be super busy and very fun. Tomorrow I am going to see the movie FAME again with Karen, Tuesday I start hip-hop dancing class, Wednesday is the SYTYCD live tour with Karen and Erica, Thursday is German study group and Friday is Oktoberfest at Gastof's. BOOYAH!!! I am looking forward to it. I better stockpile my energy today so I am fully charged for this week! :)
Oh and I found out last night that Jason is coming to visit at the end of the month!!! So excited!
T minus 24 days in counting!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
"Faith and Doubt."..
The following are not my own words, but as I was reading Paul Tillich's Dynamics of Faith I came across this gem and had to share it with you all.
"The risk to faith in one's ultimate concern is indeed the greatest risk man can run. For if it proves to be a failure, the meaning of one's life breaks down; one surrenders oneself, including truth and justice, to something which is not worth it. One has given away one's personal center without having a chance to regain it. The reaction of despair in people who have experienced the breakdown of their national claims is an irrefutable proof of the idolatrous character of their national concern. In the long run this is the inescapable result of an ultimate concern, the subject matter of which is not ultimate. And this is the risk faith must take; this is the risk which is unavoidable if a finite being affirms itself. Ultimate concern is ultimate risk and ultimate courage. It is not risk and needs no courage with respect to ultimacy itself. But it is risk and demands courage if it affirms a concrete concern. And every faith has a concrete element in itself. It is concerned about something or some body. But this something or this somebody may prove to be not ultimate at all. Then faith is a failure in its concrete expression, although it is not a failure in the experience of the unconditional itself. A god disappears; divinity remains. Faith risks the vanishing of the concrete god in whom it believes. It may well be that with the vanishing of the god the believer breaks down without being able to reestablish his centered self by a new content of his ultimate concern. This risk cannot be taken away from any act of faith. There is only one point which is a matter not of risk but of immediate certainty and herein lies the greatness and pain of being human; namely, one's standing between one's finitude and one's potential infinity."
Paul Tillich. Dynamics of Faith. HarperOne: Harper Collins Publishers. New York, New York. 1957. 20-21.
Absolutely brilliant. After reading this, I had a good cry, because I immediately recognized these symptoms in myself and then continued reading.
"The risk to faith in one's ultimate concern is indeed the greatest risk man can run. For if it proves to be a failure, the meaning of one's life breaks down; one surrenders oneself, including truth and justice, to something which is not worth it. One has given away one's personal center without having a chance to regain it. The reaction of despair in people who have experienced the breakdown of their national claims is an irrefutable proof of the idolatrous character of their national concern. In the long run this is the inescapable result of an ultimate concern, the subject matter of which is not ultimate. And this is the risk faith must take; this is the risk which is unavoidable if a finite being affirms itself. Ultimate concern is ultimate risk and ultimate courage. It is not risk and needs no courage with respect to ultimacy itself. But it is risk and demands courage if it affirms a concrete concern. And every faith has a concrete element in itself. It is concerned about something or some body. But this something or this somebody may prove to be not ultimate at all. Then faith is a failure in its concrete expression, although it is not a failure in the experience of the unconditional itself. A god disappears; divinity remains. Faith risks the vanishing of the concrete god in whom it believes. It may well be that with the vanishing of the god the believer breaks down without being able to reestablish his centered self by a new content of his ultimate concern. This risk cannot be taken away from any act of faith. There is only one point which is a matter not of risk but of immediate certainty and herein lies the greatness and pain of being human; namely, one's standing between one's finitude and one's potential infinity."
Paul Tillich. Dynamics of Faith. HarperOne: Harper Collins Publishers. New York, New York. 1957. 20-21.
Absolutely brilliant. After reading this, I had a good cry, because I immediately recognized these symptoms in myself and then continued reading.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
That's all I have to Say about That...
Today was the first day back to classes at Luther Seminary. I signed up to take Dr. Lois Malcolm's History/Systematics PhD Seminar on Paul Tillich. This was not my first choice, but the class I was signed up for got canceled and so I decided on the Tillich seminar instead. After sitting through the introductory class, I think I am going to get a lot out of it and am excited to learn more about this theologian I hear so much about but know so little of.
The other thing I like about the class is that there are four people in the class I had seminars with last year. Did I mention how awesome they are? Well I'll just say it now; They Are Awesome!!! P. S. Pat, you really should sign up for this class. I'm just saying.
I went to chapel today. It included the installation of three professors (Congrats Dr. Granquist! I gave a little cheer for my fellow historian during that part of the service) and the go forth and prosper speech that is given at the beginning of each school year.
Now I don't want to offend anyone, so I'm sorry if I do, but as I walked into the chapel my heart sank a little. I looked across the chapel to the far side pews and part of me for whatever reason expected to see Big Brother Doug Holtz, Bob Bekkerus, Amanda Stamp, and a slew of other people who sat over in that area all last year. I miss my class of 2009 homies. It is the class I started this crazy seminary journey with and I miss you immensely. It's just not the same without you. I also miss many of the faces I would see who have now gone off to internship for the year. And with that, I felt a strong sense that this has to be my last year at Luther Seminary. My time is up. It is time for me to move on.
Which brings me to my next point. I have begun the tedious and time consuming, all encompassing process of filling out PhD applications, again. This time, hopefully I won't be in utter emotional destitution when it comes time to write my personal statement. Crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer. I have decided that I am applying to three schools:
University of Minnesota
University of Pennsylvania
Princeton Theological Seminary
I have chosen these schools because they seem to me to be the best fit for the area of history I intend to pursue scholarly work in, in the future. I am excited to be done with the application process. The most arduous part of the whole process is getting a hold of my transcripts from the various institutions I have attended in the past (the one down side of transferring schools half way through undergrad.) I have not had trouble with this before, but it is such a pain in the ass. And it ends up costing a good chunk of money as well. But it is one of those necessary evils in life, if a person wants to continue with school at an institution they are not currently attending.
And now I think I am going to stop writing abruptly due to the fact that I have just written a short novel for you all. That's all I have to say about that.
The other thing I like about the class is that there are four people in the class I had seminars with last year. Did I mention how awesome they are? Well I'll just say it now; They Are Awesome!!! P. S. Pat, you really should sign up for this class. I'm just saying.
I went to chapel today. It included the installation of three professors (Congrats Dr. Granquist! I gave a little cheer for my fellow historian during that part of the service) and the go forth and prosper speech that is given at the beginning of each school year.
Now I don't want to offend anyone, so I'm sorry if I do, but as I walked into the chapel my heart sank a little. I looked across the chapel to the far side pews and part of me for whatever reason expected to see Big Brother Doug Holtz, Bob Bekkerus, Amanda Stamp, and a slew of other people who sat over in that area all last year. I miss my class of 2009 homies. It is the class I started this crazy seminary journey with and I miss you immensely. It's just not the same without you. I also miss many of the faces I would see who have now gone off to internship for the year. And with that, I felt a strong sense that this has to be my last year at Luther Seminary. My time is up. It is time for me to move on.
Which brings me to my next point. I have begun the tedious and time consuming, all encompassing process of filling out PhD applications, again. This time, hopefully I won't be in utter emotional destitution when it comes time to write my personal statement. Crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer. I have decided that I am applying to three schools:
University of Minnesota
University of Pennsylvania
Princeton Theological Seminary
I have chosen these schools because they seem to me to be the best fit for the area of history I intend to pursue scholarly work in, in the future. I am excited to be done with the application process. The most arduous part of the whole process is getting a hold of my transcripts from the various institutions I have attended in the past (the one down side of transferring schools half way through undergrad.) I have not had trouble with this before, but it is such a pain in the ass. And it ends up costing a good chunk of money as well. But it is one of those necessary evils in life, if a person wants to continue with school at an institution they are not currently attending.
And now I think I am going to stop writing abruptly due to the fact that I have just written a short novel for you all. That's all I have to say about that.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
My Ineptness Regarding Technology...
Yesterday I was tinkering around with my blog and ended up with a completely new format and colors, as well as new fonts. Awesome, right?! Well I enjoy it, now that I've looked at it a few times. Before I went to work yesterday I was somehow able to figure out how to import my new blog entry to facebook, which would allow the person who clicked on it to be brought to my blog page and they could read on from there. I have not been able to reduplicate this process for the life of me. Ugh....to technology and my ineptitude! :(
This morning I said my last official good-bye for the summer. Jason left today for his year long internship in Valpraiso, Indiana. It pretty much sucks. I know many many people who have had to spend years away from each other only getting to see each other once a month or every few months. If they can do it, so can we. I intended to spend the day in bed getting up only to do laundry, go to the bathroom, maybe eat something, but I'm not feeling hungry at all. I was even thinking about dusting the entire house. My room desperately needs to be dusted, so I might as well continue on from there. Unfortunately that is not the case today.
I don't know if you remember me bitching earlier this summer, must have been June, about workers coming into the house around 9am and not doing their job and then leaving after only a few hours. I probably didn't say exactly that, but something along those lines... Well they're back! Because they couldn't do their job properly the first time and complete the original list of things that needed to be fixed on the house, which apparently wasn't given to them in full in the first place (thanks Brent, the reality guy!) they have come back for seconds. Who knows how long they will be here this time. If they actually have gotten their acts together, they might be gone in a month. So instead of relaxing and sleeping all day because I'm sad, I get to listen to the fucking "Patriot" all day, which is their favorite radio station to listen to, and which drives me up a fucking wall. There goes my dusting project for the day.
On a happier note, I get to see Anita again for a few days. She flies in on Sunday and leaves Tuesday. We are going to the State Fair Monday and seeing Jeff Dunham Monday night. YAY!!! In the words of Walter the Puppet, "I'm haaaaapy!" But I actually mean it.
Count down till I get to see Jason again: 23 days
This morning I said my last official good-bye for the summer. Jason left today for his year long internship in Valpraiso, Indiana. It pretty much sucks. I know many many people who have had to spend years away from each other only getting to see each other once a month or every few months. If they can do it, so can we. I intended to spend the day in bed getting up only to do laundry, go to the bathroom, maybe eat something, but I'm not feeling hungry at all. I was even thinking about dusting the entire house. My room desperately needs to be dusted, so I might as well continue on from there. Unfortunately that is not the case today.
I don't know if you remember me bitching earlier this summer, must have been June, about workers coming into the house around 9am and not doing their job and then leaving after only a few hours. I probably didn't say exactly that, but something along those lines... Well they're back! Because they couldn't do their job properly the first time and complete the original list of things that needed to be fixed on the house, which apparently wasn't given to them in full in the first place (thanks Brent, the reality guy!) they have come back for seconds. Who knows how long they will be here this time. If they actually have gotten their acts together, they might be gone in a month. So instead of relaxing and sleeping all day because I'm sad, I get to listen to the fucking "Patriot" all day, which is their favorite radio station to listen to, and which drives me up a fucking wall. There goes my dusting project for the day.
On a happier note, I get to see Anita again for a few days. She flies in on Sunday and leaves Tuesday. We are going to the State Fair Monday and seeing Jeff Dunham Monday night. YAY!!! In the words of Walter the Puppet, "I'm haaaaapy!" But I actually mean it.
Count down till I get to see Jason again: 23 days
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Summer is Over??? Already?? Weird.
Right now I am at the office. Having finished all my work for the day and being that I don't get off till 5pm, I have decided to blog (and apparently in the passive voice.)
I was thinking today about the fact that in one week from now, at 9am in the morning I will be sitting with my fellow post-graduates in class. I will hopefully know whether or not I have passed my German exam so I can start officially working on my thesis. Man, I better have passed that thing, otherwise I'm screwed. :(
I have done a lot of travelling this summer, spending countless hours in the car with Jason and with others, travelling all over the Midwest for friends' ordinations. It has been a wonderful summer. Unfortunately it is coming to an end, yet at the same time I am looking forward to finishing up my last class at Luther Seminary and getting ready to move on. I am also excited about going back to the Holy Land, but I'll expound on that another time.
I have also had to say many good-byes to people I have come to know and love. As my good friend Veronica has said many times, "With every good-bye, there is a hello." I full heartedly agree, but good-byes still suck; ALOT!
I was thinking today about the fact that in one week from now, at 9am in the morning I will be sitting with my fellow post-graduates in class. I will hopefully know whether or not I have passed my German exam so I can start officially working on my thesis. Man, I better have passed that thing, otherwise I'm screwed. :(
I have done a lot of travelling this summer, spending countless hours in the car with Jason and with others, travelling all over the Midwest for friends' ordinations. It has been a wonderful summer. Unfortunately it is coming to an end, yet at the same time I am looking forward to finishing up my last class at Luther Seminary and getting ready to move on. I am also excited about going back to the Holy Land, but I'll expound on that another time.
I have also had to say many good-byes to people I have come to know and love. As my good friend Veronica has said many times, "With every good-bye, there is a hello." I full heartedly agree, but good-byes still suck; ALOT!
Time for a Change...Or Maybe Not...
Today as I was attempting to update my blog on the latest happenings in my life, I spontaneously decided to "really" update my blog. I chose a new format, which has a brown background, which I can't seem to figure out how to change. So now I have a ridiculously ugly blog. If I'm stuck with a brown background, I might as well chose colors that make it even more ridiculous. I was actually going to write about something substantial today. Unfortunately I've wasted too much time trying to figure out how to change the damn background on my blog page, I am now out of time. Here's to a crappy background to a truly updated blog...
Friday, August 7, 2009
Julie & Julia
Today was a particularly unexciting day. I woke up, talked to my friend Amber on the phone, got out of bed and got ready for work. I moved the garbage and recycling bins to the garage and the bottom half of my pants got soaked as I walked to the bus to go to work. Work was okay. The best part was staring out the window at the clouds going by. And since I work on the 48th floor of the building they were literally going by; I was among the clouds. It was not raining when I got off work, which was nice, so I didn't get soaked again walking to the house from the bus stop. I talked to my friend Michelle on the phone and my mom after work. See, not a particularly exciting day.
As you all know, I am a huge fan of cinema. I just love movies; the way a really good movie takes you into a completely different world for awhile. How a character can capture your heart, and a story bring you to a new understanding about life. Those are the really good movies.
Tonight I decided to take myself to a movie. I splurged and spent the $10 to go and see "Julie & Julia." It was so worth the money. It was entertaining, well acted, and it really got me thinking about life. About if you really put your heart and soul into something, you can do anything. How nothing comes easily but you have to earn it. And of course, never, ever give up on yourself, no matter what anyone else says or tries to get you to believe. It was a truly inspirational movie. Although I don't see myself trying to cook my way through Julia Childs cook book anytime soon, especially since I dislike cooking.
But what then can I do? Julie, the woman cooking her way through Julia Childs cookbook in the movie, was a gifted cook to begin with. She loved to cook. She also loved to write, and decided to write a blog about her adventures of cooking her way through Julia Childs cookbook. She inspired people with her determination and her goal. Could I do something similar? But what special gift do I have that could inspire people? And here I am stumped. The only thing I have ever been good at but don't particularly like to share with others very often (which is why I don't blog as often as I probably should) is writing. Unfortunately, whenever I blog I start out trying to come up with a theme, but end up failing miserably and writing about random thoughts that come to mind, or how my day was, or some other thing along those lines. Is that really inspirational? Probably not.
The movie just really made me think about abilities and talents that each one of us possess. And thank goodness they vary in each person. How absolutely dull this world would be if we all possessed the same talents and abilities!
I may not be the best writer, but I'm a damn good historical researcher and historian! Too bad, no one seems to care anymore about history! But it is what I do, who I am. Being a damn good historical researcher is my talent, my ability. So for now, blogging will just have to be a hobby, which hopefully someone will read someday and maybe be inspired by my words. Here's to hoping! :)
As you all know, I am a huge fan of cinema. I just love movies; the way a really good movie takes you into a completely different world for awhile. How a character can capture your heart, and a story bring you to a new understanding about life. Those are the really good movies.
Tonight I decided to take myself to a movie. I splurged and spent the $10 to go and see "Julie & Julia." It was so worth the money. It was entertaining, well acted, and it really got me thinking about life. About if you really put your heart and soul into something, you can do anything. How nothing comes easily but you have to earn it. And of course, never, ever give up on yourself, no matter what anyone else says or tries to get you to believe. It was a truly inspirational movie. Although I don't see myself trying to cook my way through Julia Childs cook book anytime soon, especially since I dislike cooking.
But what then can I do? Julie, the woman cooking her way through Julia Childs cookbook in the movie, was a gifted cook to begin with. She loved to cook. She also loved to write, and decided to write a blog about her adventures of cooking her way through Julia Childs cookbook. She inspired people with her determination and her goal. Could I do something similar? But what special gift do I have that could inspire people? And here I am stumped. The only thing I have ever been good at but don't particularly like to share with others very often (which is why I don't blog as often as I probably should) is writing. Unfortunately, whenever I blog I start out trying to come up with a theme, but end up failing miserably and writing about random thoughts that come to mind, or how my day was, or some other thing along those lines. Is that really inspirational? Probably not.
The movie just really made me think about abilities and talents that each one of us possess. And thank goodness they vary in each person. How absolutely dull this world would be if we all possessed the same talents and abilities!
I may not be the best writer, but I'm a damn good historical researcher and historian! Too bad, no one seems to care anymore about history! But it is what I do, who I am. Being a damn good historical researcher is my talent, my ability. So for now, blogging will just have to be a hobby, which hopefully someone will read someday and maybe be inspired by my words. Here's to hoping! :)
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