Ok, this post is going to be a little bit of venting but mostly just things I've been working through the past month.
I am realizing now why I was not accepted into the PhD program at Luther Seminary. It is not that they do not have the classes I need to study the Crusades, it is because they are not in one particular area of concentration. I realized this as I was signing up for my classes back at the beginning of July. When all is said and done, I will have taken two, that's right, two actual classes from the History of Christianity department, one being an independent study. But all is not lost; see Luther fortunately has concentrations like Islamic Studies and Global Missions/World Christianity that I can take and learn about the relationship between Christians and Muslims through history with the particular focus on the early crusade period.
And so here comes the fun part. In order to get these classes from other areas of study to count as History of Christianity classes so they go towards my degree, I have to petition the Graduate Studies Committee for permission. I have no problem doing this. The only thing is, is that I would be petitioning for every class but two. Again I have no problem doing the leg work, I just don't know if they will let me do it with so many classes. Granted, it will only actually be three or four classes I have to do this for, but there are no guarantees they will allow all three or four to be counted as History of Christianity courses.
Yes, I am that nerd who frets about these things. But I know it will all work out somehow. Don't know how, I just have faith that God will get me though the process. I don't have any allusions about it. I know I have to do all the work myself, I know I have to fight to get all my classes counted and that I probably won't be easy. I also know that I have a great support system that will be there for me whether I succeed of fail. And of course I am my faith that God will be there with me every step of the way.
In light of these new realizations about my degree and all that it is going to entail to get it, I am more on the fence than ever on whether or not to reapply for my PhD at Luther Seminary. I have also been looking at other schools as well.
No matter what my end goal is still the same. I will get my PhD in Medieval studies and it will focus on the early crusades dealing with Christian/Islamic relations in the Palestinian region. I hope to someday work in Jewish relations as well, but for now, I don't want to bite off more than I can chew. I will teach this area of study and I will return to the region and live/teach there for a while. This is the end goal. It will take me longer than anticipated, which for someone that has little to no patience sometimes poses a problem. And here is where my support system and God heavily come into play.
So clearly I don't have all the answers, I know I never will; so for right now I'm going to keep trucking along doing my thing hoping and praying for the best.
Stay tuned for more...
My next installment will be a witty and overly sarcastic commentary on Minnesota drivers and Mall shoppers.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Reading and TV on DVD...
Alright, alright! I know I haven't blogged in a long time. So sue me.
Maybe it's laziness, or not knowing the right words to express the thoughts I want to express. I don't know. Probably a little bit of both.
Here's a quite update on what I've been up to before I start in on something profound, if that even happens. My life consists of working my two part-time jobs, translating German theological works, and spending time with friends and family. My brother is back from Florida until the end of August so I am doing my best to spend as much time with him as possible without smothering him. I think I've been pretty successful so far. I drive down to my fortress of solitude on Sundays to relax and regroup for the coming week and do laundry. And as always I am doing my thing, doing my thing.
My friend Karen, who also happens to be my roommate, recently borrowed the seasons of One Tree Hill from her friend. Yes, I know, that's what I thought at first too. But after watching a few episodes, I was hooked. Not because it is the best TV show ever, because LOST is the best TV show ever, but because it is just a random show that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking. You can just watch it and enjoy or not enjoy it and go on with your day. So I have spent the last couple of weeks watching all four seasons that are on DVD. And now that I have done that, I feel a strong urge to watch my other TV on DVD shows I own. These are Sex and the City (the complete series) and LOST all three seasons that are out on DVD. But I will resist this urge as long as possible because I am currently reading five books at once. Two I am borrowing from my brother, one I am borrowing from my friend Anita, and the other I checked out from the Luther Sem. library Monday. So as you can see, I've got a lot of reading to do. I am not complaining. I love to read, but this time I think I took it just a little too far.
I do that sometimes. Take things a little too far. Go above and beyond what I am capable of without realizing it. And so I take a step back and survey the outcome and decide what to do next. While I am doing this I tend to seclude myself from others. Well maybe not seclude myself, but more like hide how I'm really doing or how things are really going at that particular time in my life.
This entire blog is just that. It is hiding all the things I really want to write about because I can't figure out how to write it. It's not laziness, it's just plain writer's block. Or maybe I'm just not ready to share because I'm not done surveying the outcome. Or maybe I just don't feel like sharing what I have realized because it is still to fresh and some of it is still stings like a freshly opened wound.
But I will share the good thing I have come to realize.
No matter what, when you least expect it, you feel a glimmer of hope somewhere deep inside you. I was recently quietly sitting with a friend after a barbecue hosted by another friend. I was watching everyone begin to help clean up, people teasing each other, laughing, having a good time; and even though I was not apart of it, I was looking in from the outside, I felt for a brief second completely at peace. I turned to my friend and said, that I really missed this place and can't wait to get back. She agreed and then we both got up to help clean up. And from then on, I've been clinging to that glimmer of hope I felt in that second because the minute we stop clinging to that hope, that is the moment we die.
We find the strength to hold on through our friends, our family, our faith, and ultimately ourselves. We must do this, we must hang on. We must have faith that in the end, we will survive, we will conquer, because we are warriors in our own right. We fight to survive not only for ourselves but for those around us, those we care about, those that need us to fight. We are warriors, we are survivors. God gave us this ability to perceiver (sp?) and therefore we must cling to him, to hope, to the brighter future that will someday come, if not today, then tomorrow. We must do this for ourselves and each other. (And Scene)
For now, I'm going to go read so I can get the books I borrowed from people back to them in a timely manner. Ciao!
Maybe it's laziness, or not knowing the right words to express the thoughts I want to express. I don't know. Probably a little bit of both.
Here's a quite update on what I've been up to before I start in on something profound, if that even happens. My life consists of working my two part-time jobs, translating German theological works, and spending time with friends and family. My brother is back from Florida until the end of August so I am doing my best to spend as much time with him as possible without smothering him. I think I've been pretty successful so far. I drive down to my fortress of solitude on Sundays to relax and regroup for the coming week and do laundry. And as always I am doing my thing, doing my thing.
My friend Karen, who also happens to be my roommate, recently borrowed the seasons of One Tree Hill from her friend. Yes, I know, that's what I thought at first too. But after watching a few episodes, I was hooked. Not because it is the best TV show ever, because LOST is the best TV show ever, but because it is just a random show that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking. You can just watch it and enjoy or not enjoy it and go on with your day. So I have spent the last couple of weeks watching all four seasons that are on DVD. And now that I have done that, I feel a strong urge to watch my other TV on DVD shows I own. These are Sex and the City (the complete series) and LOST all three seasons that are out on DVD. But I will resist this urge as long as possible because I am currently reading five books at once. Two I am borrowing from my brother, one I am borrowing from my friend Anita, and the other I checked out from the Luther Sem. library Monday. So as you can see, I've got a lot of reading to do. I am not complaining. I love to read, but this time I think I took it just a little too far.
I do that sometimes. Take things a little too far. Go above and beyond what I am capable of without realizing it. And so I take a step back and survey the outcome and decide what to do next. While I am doing this I tend to seclude myself from others. Well maybe not seclude myself, but more like hide how I'm really doing or how things are really going at that particular time in my life.
This entire blog is just that. It is hiding all the things I really want to write about because I can't figure out how to write it. It's not laziness, it's just plain writer's block. Or maybe I'm just not ready to share because I'm not done surveying the outcome. Or maybe I just don't feel like sharing what I have realized because it is still to fresh and some of it is still stings like a freshly opened wound.
But I will share the good thing I have come to realize.
No matter what, when you least expect it, you feel a glimmer of hope somewhere deep inside you. I was recently quietly sitting with a friend after a barbecue hosted by another friend. I was watching everyone begin to help clean up, people teasing each other, laughing, having a good time; and even though I was not apart of it, I was looking in from the outside, I felt for a brief second completely at peace. I turned to my friend and said, that I really missed this place and can't wait to get back. She agreed and then we both got up to help clean up. And from then on, I've been clinging to that glimmer of hope I felt in that second because the minute we stop clinging to that hope, that is the moment we die.
We find the strength to hold on through our friends, our family, our faith, and ultimately ourselves. We must do this, we must hang on. We must have faith that in the end, we will survive, we will conquer, because we are warriors in our own right. We fight to survive not only for ourselves but for those around us, those we care about, those that need us to fight. We are warriors, we are survivors. God gave us this ability to perceiver (sp?) and therefore we must cling to him, to hope, to the brighter future that will someday come, if not today, then tomorrow. We must do this for ourselves and each other. (And Scene)
For now, I'm going to go read so I can get the books I borrowed from people back to them in a timely manner. Ciao!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Decisions...and Following Your Gut...
It's official. Starting Tuesday I will be starting classes again. I am taking Beginning German and Intermediate German this summer to prepare for the classes I will be taking in the fall. Apparently I have been given permission from the Graduate Studies guru Paul Lokken to take PhD level classes in case I decide to reapply before January 1st.
Yet another decision I have to make in the coming months. Is this all adult life is? Constantly making decisions. Well we always have to make decisions but I feel lately that the decisions I am needing to make are all life changing ones. Not the daily decisions of whether I feel like eating cereal or a bagel for breakfast but serious ones.
Here are my options right now when it comes to the future of my education:
1) Do the two years of MTh classes, graduate and apply for PhD programs at Universities and Seminaries I have not already applied to;
2) Do the year of classes as an MTh student but at the PhD level and resubmit my application for PhD before January 1st.
If I choose option #2, the classes I take as an MTh student I am told will transfer as long as they are PhD level and I will only have three years left until I graduate.
If I choose option #1 I will have six more years of schooling; two for my MTh degree and four for my PhD.
Decisions, decisions...ugh...
Sometimes I wish there was a guide I could follow that just told me all the answers. But nope. That would not be living. That would be monotony and a very boring existence. Though it would make things a lot easier, life is not a straight road. There are many many forks in the road and we have to decide which direction to take. If it doesn't work out then we take a different road.
At times like these I always love to read the poem "The Road Less Traveled." Because it is so true. At least in my life it rings very true.
I have never taken the easy way, not for not trying. I have always followed my "gut" for lack of a better word right now. Because of this I have met many wonderful people, and not so wonderful people, and have experienced things I never thought I would (both good and bad.) Taking a risk is sometimes the best thing a person can do for themselves. I feel really bad for people who are too afraid to because they end up missing out on life and the adventures it has to offer.
Taking a risk is like saying, "Ok Big G, Big JC, and my man the HS, I'm throwing in the towel of control and letting you take the lead." Sometimes there is nothing more freeing than letting go and just following your gut. It may not turn out the way you thought it would; it could turn out really great or really bad, but it is comforting to know that three persons have got your back no matter what.
Even when people you care about let you down, they got your back. When things don't turn out the way you wanted they got your back...that is why it is ok to let go and take a risk...because they got your back.
And therefore, without further ado, I am following my gut, taking a risk, and resubmitting my application for the PhD program at Luther Seminary which if accepted I will be admitted for starting fall 2009. It will be nice to have a year of classes behind me when I start. And the best part is, is that if I do them at the right class level they will all transfer over and I'll only have three years to go. If it doesn't work out, I have a back up plan unless I end up following another road less traveled.
Stay tuned...
Yet another decision I have to make in the coming months. Is this all adult life is? Constantly making decisions. Well we always have to make decisions but I feel lately that the decisions I am needing to make are all life changing ones. Not the daily decisions of whether I feel like eating cereal or a bagel for breakfast but serious ones.
Here are my options right now when it comes to the future of my education:
1) Do the two years of MTh classes, graduate and apply for PhD programs at Universities and Seminaries I have not already applied to;
2) Do the year of classes as an MTh student but at the PhD level and resubmit my application for PhD before January 1st.
If I choose option #2, the classes I take as an MTh student I am told will transfer as long as they are PhD level and I will only have three years left until I graduate.
If I choose option #1 I will have six more years of schooling; two for my MTh degree and four for my PhD.
Decisions, decisions...ugh...
Sometimes I wish there was a guide I could follow that just told me all the answers. But nope. That would not be living. That would be monotony and a very boring existence. Though it would make things a lot easier, life is not a straight road. There are many many forks in the road and we have to decide which direction to take. If it doesn't work out then we take a different road.
At times like these I always love to read the poem "The Road Less Traveled." Because it is so true. At least in my life it rings very true.
I have never taken the easy way, not for not trying. I have always followed my "gut" for lack of a better word right now. Because of this I have met many wonderful people, and not so wonderful people, and have experienced things I never thought I would (both good and bad.) Taking a risk is sometimes the best thing a person can do for themselves. I feel really bad for people who are too afraid to because they end up missing out on life and the adventures it has to offer.
Taking a risk is like saying, "Ok Big G, Big JC, and my man the HS, I'm throwing in the towel of control and letting you take the lead." Sometimes there is nothing more freeing than letting go and just following your gut. It may not turn out the way you thought it would; it could turn out really great or really bad, but it is comforting to know that three persons have got your back no matter what.
Even when people you care about let you down, they got your back. When things don't turn out the way you wanted they got your back...that is why it is ok to let go and take a risk...because they got your back.
And therefore, without further ado, I am following my gut, taking a risk, and resubmitting my application for the PhD program at Luther Seminary which if accepted I will be admitted for starting fall 2009. It will be nice to have a year of classes behind me when I start. And the best part is, is that if I do them at the right class level they will all transfer over and I'll only have three years to go. If it doesn't work out, I have a back up plan unless I end up following another road less traveled.
Stay tuned...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Lots of change at one time + Megan = ?
There is a lot of change going on in my life right now. To describe my emotional state of being as being good would be a gross overexaggeration. Up and down up and down for the past few weeks. So instead of writing a book about it all, I'm going to make a list; a list with Yah!!! or Boo!! at the end of each item to represent how I was feeling at the time the event took place. Ok so here I go:
1) Quit my job at Ann Taylor and went back to working at The Limited at Southdale. Yah!!!
2) One of my best friends, Michelle, getting married. Yah!!!
3) Wells Fargo making an error on my checking account which caused two weeks of chaos. Boo!!
4) One of my best friends, Veronica, leaving for Maryland for the summer and Mexico City in the fall. Boo!!/Yah!!!
5) Another good friend, Megan, leaving for Maryland for graduate school. Boo!!/Yah!!!
6) Three of my good friends graduating from Luther Seminary. And finding out one of them will be returning with me in the fall. Yah!!!
7) Finding out my brother is going to be coming back to Minnesota after he graduates college at the end of June. Yah!!!
The Boo!!/Yah!!! are all the times I was happy for my friends and sad to see them go.
All this has happened in the last few weeks. I do not handle change very well, especially when it feels like I'm being left behind. But the time will come when it is my turn to head out on a new adventure of my own. I suppose I already am with returning to Luther in the fall. And so life goes on.
But this is not meant to be a sad depressing post. I suppose it kind of turned out that way. But as you can see, there have been more good things happening than bad, which has to count for something. The only really poopy thing that has happened is the bullshit with Wells Fargo. And yes, it is sad to see my friends go but it is not good bye forever, just for a little while.
So here's to new adventures and surviving lots of change at one time.
1) Quit my job at Ann Taylor and went back to working at The Limited at Southdale. Yah!!!
2) One of my best friends, Michelle, getting married. Yah!!!
3) Wells Fargo making an error on my checking account which caused two weeks of chaos. Boo!!
4) One of my best friends, Veronica, leaving for Maryland for the summer and Mexico City in the fall. Boo!!/Yah!!!
5) Another good friend, Megan, leaving for Maryland for graduate school. Boo!!/Yah!!!
6) Three of my good friends graduating from Luther Seminary. And finding out one of them will be returning with me in the fall. Yah!!!
7) Finding out my brother is going to be coming back to Minnesota after he graduates college at the end of June. Yah!!!
The Boo!!/Yah!!! are all the times I was happy for my friends and sad to see them go.
All this has happened in the last few weeks. I do not handle change very well, especially when it feels like I'm being left behind. But the time will come when it is my turn to head out on a new adventure of my own. I suppose I already am with returning to Luther in the fall. And so life goes on.
But this is not meant to be a sad depressing post. I suppose it kind of turned out that way. But as you can see, there have been more good things happening than bad, which has to count for something. The only really poopy thing that has happened is the bullshit with Wells Fargo. And yes, it is sad to see my friends go but it is not good bye forever, just for a little while.
So here's to new adventures and surviving lots of change at one time.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Finally the weather is nice!!!
The weather is so wonderful today so you know what I'm doing; I'm sitting inside and putzing on the internet. No seriously though, it is so nice to finally be done with winter. The first snow falls of winter are nice. It's nice to have a white Christmas and all that jazz. But after Christmas I'm usually ready for spring to come and it finally has. I've only had to wait for 5 months, but it's finally here!
Yesterday I went for a walk around Lake Calhoun with my buddy/roommate Karen. It was a good walk. On our walks we tend to talk about things going on in our lives, but yesterday was particularly focused on people in general. More to the point, why are some people so full of themselves? Why are some people such assholes to others? We both came up with the same answer: don't know.
After we got half way around the lake, we found ourselves walking against the wind, which was an experience in itself. I was tempted at one point to just let the wind carry me away back around the lake to where we started, but we pushed on and got a good work out in the process.
It was also very nice weather outside yesterday as well; aside from the wind.
Oh, side note. I am returning to work at The Limited starting May 19th. I am actually really really excited to be going back. And I'm going back to my old store too, with all my peeps which is also great. I know I had my reasons for leaving before, but now they seem so mundane and dumb. I realize now I should have never left in the first place. Live and learn, live and learn.
Other news: my brother is returning to Minnesota after he graduates at the end of June. I, of course, am thrilled.
So overall life is going pretty good right now. A lot of change will be taking place in the next few weeks; friends taking off on new adventures, some returning after two years away. But such is life, and like God said in Genesis, "it is good".
Yesterday I went for a walk around Lake Calhoun with my buddy/roommate Karen. It was a good walk. On our walks we tend to talk about things going on in our lives, but yesterday was particularly focused on people in general. More to the point, why are some people so full of themselves? Why are some people such assholes to others? We both came up with the same answer: don't know.
After we got half way around the lake, we found ourselves walking against the wind, which was an experience in itself. I was tempted at one point to just let the wind carry me away back around the lake to where we started, but we pushed on and got a good work out in the process.
It was also very nice weather outside yesterday as well; aside from the wind.
Oh, side note. I am returning to work at The Limited starting May 19th. I am actually really really excited to be going back. And I'm going back to my old store too, with all my peeps which is also great. I know I had my reasons for leaving before, but now they seem so mundane and dumb. I realize now I should have never left in the first place. Live and learn, live and learn.
Other news: my brother is returning to Minnesota after he graduates at the end of June. I, of course, am thrilled.
So overall life is going pretty good right now. A lot of change will be taking place in the next few weeks; friends taking off on new adventures, some returning after two years away. But such is life, and like God said in Genesis, "it is good".
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
It's Been a Long Time Coming
I just realized the other day that I haven't blogged in two months. There is one simple reason for that. I've had nothing of significance to blog about. Well not until recently anyway.
My most exciting news is that I will be returning to Luther Seminary this fall for a Masters of Theology in Christian History. I have also fully decided on an area of expertise. It will be in early crusades studies, where the idea came from and the relationship it created between Christians, Muslims, and Jews during the first three campaigns to the Holy Land.
I also have a new roommate, which I don't know if I have mentioned before. A very good friend of mine from high school, Karen. It's awesome. Love it, love it, love it. Don't know how she feels about the situation but I love it.
Other than that, I have just been working at the law library and at Ann Taylor as much as I can and picking up shifts whenever there is one to be had so I can pay bills, eat, and buy gas so I can get to where I need to go.
Which brings me to something that has been bothering me lately. The transit system in Minnesota, well in the cities, sucks ass. Nothing is ever on time, be it the lightrail or the bus. The lightrail would be great if it was more accessible to both Minneapolis and St. Paul and also the outlying areas. I would totally take the bus to classes starting in the fall but that would mean having to leave my apartment at the minimum an hour early just to make my connecting buses to get to campus. It's ridiculous. And with gas prices continuously going up and the problem not having a solution in sight, I would hope that we get our acts together and do something about the crappy transit system that is in place right now. But that's just my opinion.
I am in a book study which is sadly ending soon, which has been awesome. We are reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, a pastor in Michigan. But the best part of this book study are the people involved. I have come to love each of them and will miss our weekly Monday meetings. I thank God every day for bring these ladies into my life. I am so blessed.
I am blessed. Blessed in many ways. Even when I wander away into the deep dark parts of my memory, my mind, the thing that always brings me back to reality, the thing that always defeats the demons is remembering how blessed I am. How God has blessed my life with amazing people, family and friends, who I cherish with all my being. I remember this and feel at peace.
My most exciting news is that I will be returning to Luther Seminary this fall for a Masters of Theology in Christian History. I have also fully decided on an area of expertise. It will be in early crusades studies, where the idea came from and the relationship it created between Christians, Muslims, and Jews during the first three campaigns to the Holy Land.
I also have a new roommate, which I don't know if I have mentioned before. A very good friend of mine from high school, Karen. It's awesome. Love it, love it, love it. Don't know how she feels about the situation but I love it.
Other than that, I have just been working at the law library and at Ann Taylor as much as I can and picking up shifts whenever there is one to be had so I can pay bills, eat, and buy gas so I can get to where I need to go.
Which brings me to something that has been bothering me lately. The transit system in Minnesota, well in the cities, sucks ass. Nothing is ever on time, be it the lightrail or the bus. The lightrail would be great if it was more accessible to both Minneapolis and St. Paul and also the outlying areas. I would totally take the bus to classes starting in the fall but that would mean having to leave my apartment at the minimum an hour early just to make my connecting buses to get to campus. It's ridiculous. And with gas prices continuously going up and the problem not having a solution in sight, I would hope that we get our acts together and do something about the crappy transit system that is in place right now. But that's just my opinion.
I am in a book study which is sadly ending soon, which has been awesome. We are reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, a pastor in Michigan. But the best part of this book study are the people involved. I have come to love each of them and will miss our weekly Monday meetings. I thank God every day for bring these ladies into my life. I am so blessed.
I am blessed. Blessed in many ways. Even when I wander away into the deep dark parts of my memory, my mind, the thing that always brings me back to reality, the thing that always defeats the demons is remembering how blessed I am. How God has blessed my life with amazing people, family and friends, who I cherish with all my being. I remember this and feel at peace.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Finally Ready...
I am finally ready to write about my two week experience in the Holy Land. I know that I will not be able to convey everything or how much this experience has changed my life. Even through pictures I know I will not be successful in sharing this experience. Each person that I have talked to thus far since returning expects from me some version of a romanticized Christian epiphany. How did going to the holy places make you feel, I am often asked. Whenever I am asked this my first instinct is to make something spectacular up, some religious experience, but in the end I tell the awful truth; I did not have a profound religious experience, not in the sense most people are expecting. No, rather, my religious experience was in meeting the people, hearing their stories, and understanding finally why God chose to show himself to the world in that place, what we now call the Holy Land.
Since the beginning of human civilizations, the Holy Land has been a place of unrest, wars, defeat, and being conquered. The people there have suffered and suffered and yet I have never met anyone in the USA that has as much hope and resolve as the Christian Palestinians I had the pleasure of meeting on this trip. I learned so much more about the world, human behavior, resilience, and oppression than I would ever have thought I would, and I am grateful for it.
I spent much of my time quietly contemplating what I saw everyday, what I heard, what I felt; maybe too much time. I say that because since I have been back, I feel as though there is something missing, something just out of my reach. What it is I do not know right now. I fell in love with that area of the world and I left a piece of myself behind. I fell in love with the people I met, the work the Lutheran Church is doing over there to provide outlets of hope to the Palestinian peoples as a whole; not just Christians but Muslims as well. I know I have a role now to participate in this work, whether by returning to the Holy Land, or by working in the states on resolutions for peace.
And I know that God chose to show himself to the world in Palestine because it is through Christ and Christ's suffering that we are saved, the cross. It is in Palestine that God chose to come to us because of his love for us, we suffer and here God suffered too.
So for me, there was no romantic epiphany, there was really no sense of awe when visiting our holy places. Only a fuller understanding of the human condition and the resilience of the human race, fighting for dignity, fighting for hope, fighting for peace.
Since the beginning of human civilizations, the Holy Land has been a place of unrest, wars, defeat, and being conquered. The people there have suffered and suffered and yet I have never met anyone in the USA that has as much hope and resolve as the Christian Palestinians I had the pleasure of meeting on this trip. I learned so much more about the world, human behavior, resilience, and oppression than I would ever have thought I would, and I am grateful for it.
I spent much of my time quietly contemplating what I saw everyday, what I heard, what I felt; maybe too much time. I say that because since I have been back, I feel as though there is something missing, something just out of my reach. What it is I do not know right now. I fell in love with that area of the world and I left a piece of myself behind. I fell in love with the people I met, the work the Lutheran Church is doing over there to provide outlets of hope to the Palestinian peoples as a whole; not just Christians but Muslims as well. I know I have a role now to participate in this work, whether by returning to the Holy Land, or by working in the states on resolutions for peace.
And I know that God chose to show himself to the world in Palestine because it is through Christ and Christ's suffering that we are saved, the cross. It is in Palestine that God chose to come to us because of his love for us, we suffer and here God suffered too.
So for me, there was no romantic epiphany, there was really no sense of awe when visiting our holy places. Only a fuller understanding of the human condition and the resilience of the human race, fighting for dignity, fighting for hope, fighting for peace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)