Alright, alright! I know I haven't blogged in a long time. So sue me.
Maybe it's laziness, or not knowing the right words to express the thoughts I want to express. I don't know. Probably a little bit of both.
Here's a quite update on what I've been up to before I start in on something profound, if that even happens. My life consists of working my two part-time jobs, translating German theological works, and spending time with friends and family. My brother is back from Florida until the end of August so I am doing my best to spend as much time with him as possible without smothering him. I think I've been pretty successful so far. I drive down to my fortress of solitude on Sundays to relax and regroup for the coming week and do laundry. And as always I am doing my thing, doing my thing.
My friend Karen, who also happens to be my roommate, recently borrowed the seasons of One Tree Hill from her friend. Yes, I know, that's what I thought at first too. But after watching a few episodes, I was hooked. Not because it is the best TV show ever, because LOST is the best TV show ever, but because it is just a random show that doesn't require a whole lot of thinking. You can just watch it and enjoy or not enjoy it and go on with your day. So I have spent the last couple of weeks watching all four seasons that are on DVD. And now that I have done that, I feel a strong urge to watch my other TV on DVD shows I own. These are Sex and the City (the complete series) and LOST all three seasons that are out on DVD. But I will resist this urge as long as possible because I am currently reading five books at once. Two I am borrowing from my brother, one I am borrowing from my friend Anita, and the other I checked out from the Luther Sem. library Monday. So as you can see, I've got a lot of reading to do. I am not complaining. I love to read, but this time I think I took it just a little too far.
I do that sometimes. Take things a little too far. Go above and beyond what I am capable of without realizing it. And so I take a step back and survey the outcome and decide what to do next. While I am doing this I tend to seclude myself from others. Well maybe not seclude myself, but more like hide how I'm really doing or how things are really going at that particular time in my life.
This entire blog is just that. It is hiding all the things I really want to write about because I can't figure out how to write it. It's not laziness, it's just plain writer's block. Or maybe I'm just not ready to share because I'm not done surveying the outcome. Or maybe I just don't feel like sharing what I have realized because it is still to fresh and some of it is still stings like a freshly opened wound.
But I will share the good thing I have come to realize.
No matter what, when you least expect it, you feel a glimmer of hope somewhere deep inside you. I was recently quietly sitting with a friend after a barbecue hosted by another friend. I was watching everyone begin to help clean up, people teasing each other, laughing, having a good time; and even though I was not apart of it, I was looking in from the outside, I felt for a brief second completely at peace. I turned to my friend and said, that I really missed this place and can't wait to get back. She agreed and then we both got up to help clean up. And from then on, I've been clinging to that glimmer of hope I felt in that second because the minute we stop clinging to that hope, that is the moment we die.
We find the strength to hold on through our friends, our family, our faith, and ultimately ourselves. We must do this, we must hang on. We must have faith that in the end, we will survive, we will conquer, because we are warriors in our own right. We fight to survive not only for ourselves but for those around us, those we care about, those that need us to fight. We are warriors, we are survivors. God gave us this ability to perceiver (sp?) and therefore we must cling to him, to hope, to the brighter future that will someday come, if not today, then tomorrow. We must do this for ourselves and each other. (And Scene)
For now, I'm going to go read so I can get the books I borrowed from people back to them in a timely manner. Ciao!
