Thursday, June 6, 2013

What Does it Mean to Have it All?

Many times in my life, I have heard the phrase, "You can have it all!"  I have even used the phrase myself.  But what does it mean to "have it all?"  Some people use the phrase in regard to material possessions.  Some use it in conjunction with vocation, their jobs, careers.  It can be used for a variety of things, but I most often hear it now as such:  You can have the perfect job for you and have the perfect home life, the perfect apartment or house, the newest car...blah blah blah.... This is what I used to think "having it all" meant; all of the things I've mentioned above.

My definition of "having it all" has dramatically changed over the past few years.  And the reality is, quite honestly, there is no such thing as "having it all."  A person can drive themselves crazy trying to achieve, "having it all."  My new reality is that, I do "have it all."  I have an amazing husband and wonderful kid.  I have the most amazing family and friends.  I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear.  I have time to write on this blog, which I plan to do more of.  I have time to read, when Preston is asleep.  I have time to re-learn how to cross-stitch and crochet.  I can take my son to the park on nice days and go for walks with my family in the evenings. 

No, I don't have a j.o.b. outside the home.  No, we don't have a lot of money right now.  Yes, we have tons of student loans to pay off and we eventually need a bigger vehicle.  But to be honest most of this stuff doesn't really matter right now. 

I love being able to stay home with Preston.  I'm not a housewife though.  If someone needs to label me, I prefer being called a stay-at-home mom.  Jason does most of the meal preparation and he helps me clean when the house needs a deep cleaning before we have company stay with us.  I do, do quite a bit of the straightening up and general cleaning, I do the laundry too.  We don't have the newest technology gadgets or the newest cars.  We have each other and a supportive community surrounding us, in our family, friends and some of the people in and around Fairfield.

I often have people suggest things I can do to help me feel more fulfilled in life, career-wise.  I know they are doing it because they care about me and until recently, I have had a very different understanding of "having it all."  I love that they care so much.  And now, I can honestly tell them, that I am okay and that right now at this point in my life, I have everything I need and want.

Will I someday write a best-selling novel series and memoir and make millions?  Maybe.  Will I continue writing and researching and learning even if no money is made from it?  Of course.  Will I someday find a job outside the home that is worth not staying home with my kid/future kids?  Maybe.  But that is all at a future date.  I can work towards these things, but there is no guarantee some of them will happen.  I am a very future oriented person, but I also live in the present.  It has taken me awhile to adapt to the present, but once I did, I obtained a new perspective on life and what it means for me to "have it all."

I feel blessed that I have had this time so far in Fairfield, because it has forced me to slow down and really determine what is important in my life.  The people in my life are important, having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear are important.  And all of these things are a gift from God and I thank God every day for them. 

So what does it mean to "have it all?"  It is different for every person, but for me I am happy with what God has given me so far and right now.