Late...

I'm going to be late for work today because I've decided that for the rest of the week I am not showing up until 11 in the am instead of the time I'm scheduled to be in which is 10 am. Why have I decided this? I have decided this because my boss has asked me to come in only in the afternoons instead of when I am scheduled to come in. Therefore, I will concede slightly to her dumb ideas and show up an hour later. I'm still staying till 4 though, that she can't do anything about. And if it really upsets her that much, she can just fire me.

There are more important things to do and think about than working a stupid office job for bosses I can't stand the sight of anymore. For example, I have recently applied for a much better job and am waiting to hear back about an interview. My friend Karen has heard from Augsburg Fortress about a possible position and there are many prayers needed for her at this time as well as for my own job search. My favorite Pastor, Pastor Mike from my home church is leaving soon to take another call in Faribault. He will be sorely missed and needs many prayers. Many people I know are going through a transition time right now in their lives. We all need great support from those around us and many many prayers for our safe travels into an unknown future.

On another note... Yesterday my friend Kari and I went to Stillwater to a great antique bookstore and spent a few hours looking through all the books and theology, church history and many more subjects related to the church and the world. It was really fun. I searched for some books I could use for my thesis and found a lot of interesting, informational resources for my bibliography. Of course I need to find more by Monday, which is why I'll be spending some time in the library this week, but it is definitely a good start. The bookstore, Loome's Books or something like that is located in an old catholic church. There are books all over, in piles and on shelves, it is a nerds paradise. They even have books up in the balcony area, yet it was freezing cold because that section of the church is not heated. You have to stay in the back area because that is the only place that is heated, everywhere else isn't. So needless to say, it is an amazing place and I want to go back when I will have a whole day to sit and peruse through everything.

Since this blog has turned into a short story already, I might as well add one more thing. I have started going to a young adult ministry group that meets on Monday nights, and I really enjoy it. Most of the time I like to sit and listen to what other people have to say, because I never really know what to say. But it is nice to be able to go out and talk about God and faith outside of the Luther Seminary community with a great group of people who I enjoy spending time with.

On that note, I am going to go and get ready for my day of boring work and then whatever comes after.

My Day in, Part II

I have spent the day in my apartment because it is too cold to go outside and do anything. I finally dusted, swept and swiffered my whole apartment, which really needed to be done. Today was a cleaning day, except for laundry, which I'll do for free tomorrow at the parental units' house. It is nice to have a day in every once in a while. I didn't go in to work on Wednesday, but it was for a good reason, I was diligently working on updating my resume and writing a cover letter so I can get out of Sem. Relations asap. Today, I did some work too, cleaning my apartment, but it was a different kind of work. It wasn't mentally straining, I didn't have to think about anything. I just turned my stereo up and dusted and swiffered. It was nice. Now I am making dinner and going to watch a movie and read my fun book I've been slowly reading then go to bed. Sometimes it is just nice to stay in and be by oneself. It is important to have a balance in one's life of being with people and being alone, well I think it is anyway. Of course, sometimes it is numbingly boring being at home alone and all you want to do is hang out with people.
Today was the perfect day to stay indoors and be alone. Other days it is different. I guess it depends on how much social contact with others you've had in the previous days or will have in the coming days. I have been fortunate to be able to spend some quality time with my amazing friends the past couple of days, so I feel good about having some time to myself today. So the point of the matter is, it was a good day.

Lazy, yet somewhat productive day...

I spent the day in today, trying to regroup from the past two days of for the most part total and utter crapiness. And regroup I did. I stayed home and slept in. When I got up I worked on revamping my resume and wrote a cover letter, which Karen and Jen graciously looked over for me and gave me great pointers. After I finished editing my resume and cover letter I dropped it off at the post office, since my mailman has apparently decided to start coming earlier in the day and I got my car, Ed-Bob, a bath finally. He is much happier with me now. I spent the rest of the day reading and watching TV, doing some more bibliography research for my thesis and just overall hanging out. I probably should have dusted and swiffered my apartment because it is getting pretty disgusting, but I just didn't feel like it. I didn't really feel like doing anything today and yet I got a few things done, one that was very important, applying for a better job. I really hope I get it. Here's to hoping and praying for good things to happen. Things are already starting to look up.

So Annoyed

I am so annoyed by everything today. I mean I had a feeling it wasn't going to be the greatest day ever but what the fuck...I had no idea it was going to be this bad. I'm sick of my job at Seminary Relations and if I didn't need the money I would tell them to kiss my fat white ass and go to hell. They had me clean the community microwave which probably hadn't been cleaned in a year or more. Come on people, clean up after yourselves, it only takes two seconds. And this guy who is not even on the schedule just shows up and stays till whenever and I get kicked out and have to find random bullshit to do until he leaves. My boss never sticks up for me, ever and they are taking hours away from me so they can hire a third person to take over when Ben and I leave in May. Really, what the fuck?! I have got to find another job and soon, because this is ridiculous.

Nothing seems to be going right with anything right now. And if I try to fix it, I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall over and over again. When will things start working out? When?!!!! I'm tired of waiting. Somethings got to give, something, anything, and soon.

So Cold Out

It is so cold out that it is cold in my apartment. Maybe the radiators aren't working properly, or maybe it is just that cold outside, but I am freaking freezing mister bigglesworth and it is not fun. In fact, I am so cold right now it hurts for me to type this blog because my hands are freezing, due to the draft coming from my large window in my study. I probably should have put some plastic stuff on the windows before it got cold out, I could probably even do it now. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
Things are progressing nicely in my search for sources for my thesis, which is good. I am getting my cousin's number so I can talk to him more about his experience in the movie industry. He is a screenplay writer and editor. I'm hoping he might be able to give me some insight into what he does and if it would be something I would be interested in. I've had a lot of time lately to think about my next step in life. The option I always end up coming back to is that I love movies, I love historical research, so I want to find a way to do both.
And now I have nothing more to say except that my hands are starting to get numb because they are so cold so I am going to go into a warmer room and unfreeze them.

A day in the life of me, Part I

I put Part I in the title because I have a feeling this may end up being a two or three parter blog. Who knows... Today I got to work early, I think I signed in around 9:55, which is amazing because usually I'm a couple minutes late. I had to go and talk to the business office about getting some money back that has apparently just been sitting in a student account. It was supposed to be an online payment towards my short term loan back in October or November, I can't remember, but apparently unless I go in to the office and specify what the money is going towards, it just sits in an account somewhere. Personally, I don't understand why they even have the online payment option if you have to go into the office anyway to tell them what the money is going towards. Yet another fabulous example of the wonderful communication taking place at Luther Seminary.

Lately, some friends of mine and I have been looking at moving into a house off-campus because hopefully it will be cheaper for all involved. I am excited to live with people again. I will have my own room and space to escape when I need to but there are also people around to talk to and hang out with. And not just any people, but really cool people, so I feel very blessed.

As for other news, I was able to get my money back from the business office which is good. I'm going to deposit it in the bank today. And my very good friend Michelle is turning 25 on Monday, and I am going to hopefully be taking her out for dinner and whatever else, whenever she doesn't work this weekend. I am excited to be able to spend some time with her. I haven't really done that in a long time. Well a long time for us anyway.

I am slowly working on putting together my bibliography for my Master's thesis on English martyrs during the English Reformation 1520-1560... It is going well. By Feb. 5, I want to have my bibliography done for the most part and an outline of my paper. Actually, I need to have it done because I am meeting with my thesis advisor that day and she wanted me to have a tentative bibliography and outline. I personally would like to have a complete bibliography, with maybe one or two more things to add and a complete outline of the paper. So there are many things to do in the next few weeks.

Other than being a total nerd and working on my thesis and trying to get as many hours as possible in the office, I am just doing my thing, doing my thing, hanging out with friends and family whenever I can and spending quality time doing my thing as always.

So this is life...

So this is life...if you were to have told me two years ago that I would be attending Luther Seminary and graduating this May with my Master of Arts degree I would have laughed at you. And yet, here I am, graduating from Luther Seminary at the end of May with my MA degree in History of Christianity.
It is strange to look back at my life and the different directions I have taken over the years. I am not old by any means, for goodness sake I'm only 24, going on 25, but I feel as though I have already lived 10 lives sometimes. Maybe I have and I am thankful that I have survived them all. Sometimes I joke that when I am reincarnated, I want to be a cat, so then I can lounge around in front of a window all day soaking up the suns rays, eat when I want to, get human attention when I want to, and be left alone when I want to be. But maybe I am doing that right now. Maybe I have been doing that my whole life, except for the whole being the cat part.
Anyway, the point is this: I have lived many different lives in my one and I have survived, and I'm thankful for that, and my family and friends who have been there for me through the good and the bad and the worst and the best. Thank you.

My day in...

I spent the whole day inside my nice warm apartment doing things I've been putting off for days now. I washed my dishes from the past few days and cleaned my bathroom. Actually I'm in the process of cleaning my bathtub right now but I have to let the cleaning solution sit for a few minutes so it works extra well. Or that's what it says on the side of the bottle. I'm probably going to read through some sources for my thesis and look some things up online.
I am feeling good about getting these little things done. It's too freaking cold outside to go anywhere, which kind of sucks because it would be nice to hang out with people later. This is the time I really don't like living off-campus alone, when I want to hang out with people but would have to drive 10 minutes and go out in the cold to do so. So instead, I am going to chill out in my apartment alone, getting a few things done and probably watch a movie and go to bed.
I have too many thoughts running through my mind when I spend the whole day cooped up in my apartment. It sucks. At the same time, it is nice to have some time to myself, doing my thing, doing my thing. It is strange how contradictory these two things are. I want to be alone, yet I am feeling lonely and want to be around people. Man, that's messed up. Oh well, just another thing to add to the list.
But overall, life could be a whole lot worse, it could be better too. It is just an indecisive mess right now, but that will pass as all things do.

Okay now...

I'm feeling better now about my situation, having vented to everyone I know in some capacity or other. I'm not going to let the man get me down. It's a fight to the death and I'm determined to win.
I had a meeting with my thesis advisor yesterday and have picked an interesting topic and am really getting into the research part, which is fun. I'm going to write about martyrdom in England during the English reformation... to be continued when I get back from lunch...back now. Ok so what was I saying? Oh, that's right, I know what I am going to write my thesis on, I have been asked to TA again for Professor Haemig, who is also my thesis advisor and a well known reformation historian. Sadly, it is in the German reformation, but I believe she will still be a good person to have by my side and make good contacts from.
I'll probably get back into archiving and curatorial work when I graduate, at least until I make myself credible in the real world and learn enough german to pass the language exam for PhD study. So you see, I have worked a few things out in the past day or two and feel alot better about my situation.
Hopefully, I'll be moving into a house with some friends soon, which will be nice, not only for the company but also hopefully it will be less money than what I'm paying out now a month. Things are definitely looking up although as always, I still plan on sticking it to the man. That is my new favorite phrase, sticking it to the man, especially when I'm stressed out about life and decisions that need to be made. So you will be hearing it alot in the next few months.

Sticking it to the man...

I've officially discovered how I am going to stick it to the man. I just sat through the biggest waste of time alumni dinner for the Luther Seminarians graduating in May. There was not a single MA group represented among the alumni present. If that is not sad enough, every single alum who got up to speak talked only about pastoring to a congregation. Well I've decided, as well as the two other MA's sitting at the table with me and others around the room that somethings got to change. Therefore, I'm going to take it upon myself to stir things up a bit, I don't know how yet, but it's got to be done. I was hoping to meet someone tonight who could point me in a possible direction or get some connections for the future, but all I got was questions and blank stares when I told people I was an MA studying History of Christianity and I was not going to be going on to get my PhD right away after I graduate from Luther. That did not help me at all. And if one more person asks me why I'm not becoming a parish minister I think I'll blow a fucking gasket. Telling the story of our collective Christian past through the study of historical events, people, places and ideas, is just as important as being a freaking pastor. I am so sick of feeling like I just wasted the past two years of my life when I know I haven't. Clearly I am not going to be getting any support from the alumni council or any donors to the seminary for that matter so I'm going to stick it to the man and prove yet again that I and my chosen course of study are worth taking another look at before deeming it worthless. If I don't do something to help remedy the situation for myself and hopefully then for others who the hell else will? So therefore I have taken it upon myself to stick it to the man for all the other underdogs like myself, who aren't getting the support from our beloved community which we have given over the last few years of our lives to.

Lack of social interaction makes me cranky with me...

I am sick of being sick. Today I had to stay home from work because I still had no voice and couldn't move for a while. At this point, I am starting to get my voice back and can move around without getting extremely dizzy. So things are looking up. What a way to start off the new year. Figures. I'm beginning to get depressed due to my lack of social interaction the past couple of days. I missed out on saying goodbye to my brother before he left in person because I was really sick on Saturday. I spent some time with the parental units yesterday, but what I need is to spend time with my friends. I'm tired of sitting in my apartment alone watching TV. After a couple of days it gets old. I want to go out and do something, anything.
I've had too much time on my hands to think about things the last couple of days. Think about the future, the next couple of months, everything. I have made some important decisions and have asked many questions. And now that I am feeling better I can actually do something about it. But it has been a hard couple of days both physically, mentally and emotionally. I am looking forward to getting out of my apartment and into the open air, starting to put things into motion for my future and spending time with close friends.

New Year, Next Step...

So far 2007 has been a good year. Of course it has only been two days, but I'm optimistic. I started Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet again today. So far so good. Of course it has only been one day, but again I'm optimistic. I thought I had to work in the office today, but it turns out it was closed. Rock the house, y'all!! At the same time, I was totally bored at my apartment all day and pissed off because I could have stayed down in Northfield and hung out with the brother last night and today. Apparently someone forgot to send me the memo that the office would be closed. Thanks a whole freaking lot.
And just in case anyone was worried that I had stopped being my, hmmm... what did she call me...oh that's right...a cranky bitter woman, don't. I'll always be "a cranky bitter, independent minded, don't take shit from anyone" kind of woman so worry not my friends, all is well.
I am looking forward to what this new year will bring. I know it's going to be busy and at times bitter sweet, at times fantastic and at others down right shitty, but I'm still looking forward to what it brings and to see what happens next.