Next Up: A Collection of Short Stories, a Devotional, or a Children's Book

Lately, I have been trying to decide what my next writing project should be.  I go between starting a collection of short stories, writing a devotional focusing on Jonah and Ruth or writing a children's book.

I am leaning towards writing a children's book.  I have some ideas already, one based on an amateur children's book I wrote in 8th grade.  I want to revise it and include a few wisdom scriptural passages about forgiveness and love of God and our neighbor; both extremely important lesson to teach children.  My hope would be to find a publisher for my new endeavor.

I think a devotional would be fun to do, but I need to do some research on writing a good devotional, as I have not written one before.  It would be interesting to write a devotional connecting the books of Ruth and Jonah somehow with an emphasis on Lutheran biblical understanding.

Writing short stories would be the most time consuming at this point and so I am going to put them aside for a while.  I still hope to write short stories one day in the future, just for myself and maybe one day find a publisher.

As for my current writing exercises, I am going to continue to post on this blog regularly.  I am going to start on my children's book idea and see where it takes me.

A Pastor's Spouse Perspective, Part II: The Season of Lent with a Toddler Son

The Lenten season is quickly coming to an end with Holy Week upon us.  Lent has been a bit of a blur this year for me.  These are some of the things that I remember happening, in what I like to call my "Lenten hazy".

I know my husband and I had a date night on a Sunday evening.  We went to see the newest Cinderella movie and went out to dinner afterwards.  I know my in-laws bought a new house that they will be moving into sometime this summer.  I know we have practiced for the Good Friday and Easter cantata every Wednesday since Ash Wednesday after Lenten services.  I know that the farmers are getting ready to seed their fields because of the burning and move their cattle to their summer pastures.  I know that my son is growing in so many ways and it is amazing to watch.

All of these things have happened and continue to happen, but it is all a blur to me.  I think the "lenten hazy" is a coping mechanism to get me through the chaos that is typically part of Lent for pastors.  But what people don't always realize is that it is just as busy and chaotic for pastor's spouses.  Whether we work and don't have kids yet, work and have kids or stay at home without kids or stay at home with kids, we are dragged along on our spouse's crazy journey.  I may be alone in this, but I personally can't wait until Easter Sunday at 12:30 pm when I know all of the Easter services will be done and we'll be getting on the road to head up to my in-law's house for Easter dinner and several relaxing days afterwards.  In our synod, the pastors and spouses (if able to) get together for a few days after Easter at Chico Hot Springs, which is about 45 minutes from the Montana/Wyoming border.  The border is in Yellowstone National Park.  Let's just say, it's amazing.  I typically use these days to recoop from the chaos of Lent and Holy Week, taking the time to sleep in and read through my TIME magazines that I am way behind on reading.  My wonderful in-laws take care of our son for the week, so my husband and I can get a break, and frankly, my son needs his grandparent time.  They always have a great time together.  :)

I used to love Lent and Easter.  But now that my family is in the thick of all the behind the scenes stuff that goes into planning each service and the time and energy it takes to deal with a 2 year, 8 month old is exhausting.  I just want to go to sleep and wake up at 12:30 pm on Easter Sunday.  Lent and Holy Week has become more of a season to survive, to get through.   But I have also discovered some things about myself during this Lenten season.  I discovered that even with my son being a menace the vast majority of the time during Wednesday services, I can still enjoy the services.  I enjoy them in a different way than I did before when I would go and sit in the pew and leave right afterwards.  Now, I go and sit in the pew, pay attention when I can, and try to see the service through my son's eyes, which is a mix of awe and just wanting to be in the thick of it.  He gets so excited that he wants to be right up front and involved.  It is just so wonderful to see him grow in his faith and be excited about what is going on.  And of course, he wants to be up front with his dad too. ;)

Despite seeing less of my husband, feeling like a single mom sometimes, being alone at services with my son who depending on the day behaves or doesn't during worship services, Lent, Holy Week and Easter are still some of my favorite times of the church year.  Now I am going to re-enter my "lenten hazy" so I can survive Holy Week with my toddler son.  I just have to make it until 12:30 pm on Easter Sunday and then I can breathe a huge sigh of relief that we all made it through another crazy, chaotic Lenten season.

Week 10 of Healthier Living in 2015

3/25/2015
For week of 3/18 - 3/25/2015
Weigh in Weight:  149 lbs  gain of 2 oz

Week 10 especially Monday and Tuesday, was a much better week than the previous few weeks.

I got to hold my first published book in my hands for the first time on Monday.  In a few weeks I will be getting copies of my book that I can pre-sell before it comes out nationally in stores in a couple of months.  Monday was amazing.

On Tuesday I got some wonderful news and we started planning our box garden for this year.  We are going to plant herbs this year too, which will be a fun experiment.

Every morning of week 10, I practiced mediation and prayed about what I am grateful for in my life.  I also prayed about things that I need help with.  I prayed for patience for the things I can not change quickly in my life.  I asked for guidance so I can be the best version of me to my husband and son.  I prayed for calm and graciousness towards myself; to allow myself to take a break when I need one.  On Monday, instead of working out, I decided to give myself the day off and started watching a show on DVD that I think I'm really going to like, "The White Queen".  I'm trying to decide if I am going to make watching one episode on Monday mornings a routine, so I can relax.  As long as I get 3 days of speed walking on the treadmill in a week, along with all of the less intense exercise I get from daily life, it will be okay to take Mondays off for a little while.  My practice of daily prayer and meditation has been wonderful for my well-being.

I made time to journal 3 times during week 10.  Between writing blog posts, which I am doing more of to hopefully build a bigger audience, and everyday life, I'm impressed that I found time to journal.  I mostly reflected about my morning prayer and meditation.  Journaling is so therapeutic for me all the time.

Despite my lack of sleep (yes, I failed to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night again), week 10 was a great week for me.  I am back to 149 lbs, but with healthy eating and staying active, I think I can get back to 148 or even 147 by next Wednesday.  Good things are happening!  Until next week, Keep on keeping on!!!

Goals for Week 11: 3/25 - 4/1/2015
1)  Eat low-sodium meals and foods
2) Make a least one new recipe/meal
3) Speed walking on the treadmill at least 3 times a week
4) Journal 3 times a week
5) Continued morning prayer and meditation

Vegetable and Herb Garden Preparation, 2015

It's that time of year again, when every who plants a garden is in preparation mode.  Last year my husband and I planted a small box garden with various vegetables, which ended up being taken over by our squash and zucchini plants.  It also produced peas and tomatoes, but everything else was crowded out by the squash and zucchini plants.

So this year, we are going to plant similar vegetables but instead of planting our tomatoes in the box garden, we are going to plant them in planters and I am going to decorate the planters beforehand with some neat DIY ideas I found on Pinterest.  Thank God for Pinterest.

This year we are going to plant an herb garden too in little planters.  I have found some really nice looking DIY projects to make our herb planters look fun while not spending tons of money.  I'd like to have some outside and some inside, so I better get cracking on these projects so they actually get done before we actually plant the seeds.  I also found some good instructions on when to start planting certain vegetables and herbs so they harvest at the right time.  And instructions on how to dry herbs too.  Pinterest is amazing!!!

I am very excited about planting our box garden again this year as well as starting our first herb garden.  I would love to eventually have a green house so I can plant and harvest vegetables all year long.  The idea of sustainable living and homegrown food really appeals to me and has for a long time.  I can't wait to start our garden and herbs.  Ultimately, the best part of preparing one's garden is that warmer weather is just around the corner!!!  Thank the Lord!!!

My First Book!!!

Today I held my first published book in my hands for the first time.  Do you want to know what I did?  I burst into tears.  I'm the kind of person who dreams of becoming a published author but it just doesn't work out.  But now I am the person whose dream has come true.

It is an amazing feeling to have people believe in your work and transform it from a thesis collecting dust on a shelf to a book that anyone can read.  I am so blessed to have met two wonderful women who introduced me to my current publisher.  One of them wrote a breakfast cookbook and the other a devotional focusing on women in the Bible.  And they both published their books with the same company, Tate Publishing.

I had never heard of Tate Publishing before meeting these ladies, but thanks to them, I decided in last fall to send my manuscript to them and two days later, I got a call that they wanted to publish my thesis into a book.  Today, I held the finished product in my hands for the first time, and it was a dream come true!

Below is a photo of my first published book!!!

What I've Learned about Myself after Almost 4 Years in Ministry: A Pastor's Spouse Perspective

Being the spouse of a pastor comes with many joys and challenges.  It has given me a certain perspective about life that is different from those around me.  For example, most of my friends' spouses work Monday through Friday, normally getting home around 6pm or so and have Saturday and Sunday to spend with their family.  Not with pastor's spouses.  Pastors typically get one day off a week, most choosing Mondays because of the business of Sunday worship, etc...  My husband takes Fridays off and the morning on Saturdays.  But this is not always the case.  Some weeks he doesn't get any days off and evenings are for meetings, Confirmation class and Bible studies.  I will never know what it is like to live in a house where my husband works a 9-5 job and has weekends off.  And after almost 4 years, I am mostly okay with it.

I've learned a lot about myself in my almost 4 years of being a pastor's spouse.  I've learned that I love working from home, so I can be around to raise my son and any future children we have.  Raising kids is definitely hard, but I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home and work at the same time.  And speaking of raising kids, I've learned that it truly does take a village to raise them.  I've learned that I need said village to be myself, happy and to keep me from falling into bouts of boredom and loneliness.  I'm not a lone wolf and I don't think I ever will be.  I need my family and friends to be close; the closer the better.

I've learned that I don't do well in physically isolated situations.  I currently live in a small town in rural Montana, where the nearest decent sized population is 35 minutes away.  And though I am not impressed by the nearest city, at least there are places to go and people wherever you go.  If I were to pick my ideal place to live, it would be a city with a population between 10,000 and 30,000 with lots of culture, well preserved history and with something going on most of the time.  I'd like to live within easy driving distance from a major city with theaters, diverse food choices and tons to do all the time.

In light of my living situation, I have learned that I am resilient.  I have learned to look for the good things in my life and appreciate the gifts God has bestowed upon me.  I have learned to live in the moment, while still being excited for the possibilities of the future.  I have strengthened my faith in the Triune God through fellowship with those around me and watching my son learn and discover his faith in God.  It is a powerful thing to watch a child discover their faith.

And lastly, I've learned that it's not all about me.  It's about our mission of ministry to the world, including our churches in small town rural Montana.  It's about my family and friends.  And yes, it is about me too.  I am important and my wants and needs are important, but it doesn't mean that my wants and needs are the only things that matter.  I have so much to be grateful for in my life.  I can't lie, it has been a struggle to balance my own turmoil with the bigger picture more often than I would like to admit, but in the end God is with me always and knowing that, I can get through anything.  And that is the most important lesson I've learn so far on this chaotic journey of being a pastor's spouse, that no matter what happens, good or bad, God is always with me and I will make it through.  

The Power of Friendship

A week ago, I wrote a hastily put together piece on the power of friendship.  I submitted it to a popular magazine for mothers and will find out in about 5 weeks if they will be publishing it or not.  If I don't hear back from the magazine in the next 5 weeks then it was not accepted.  If I hear back, then it was.  It's pretty straightforward.  Below is a short excerpt of my submitted article:

The power of friendship is one of the most special gifts given to us by God.  As a pastor’s wife, my life is quite transient.  For my husband’s first call, we packed up our things and moved to a small rural community in north central Montana.  For him, it wasn't such a huge transition because he grew up and lived all of his life in various places in Montana.  For me it was a huge transition....

If you like this excerpt, stay tuned because I will be posting if it has been accepted by the magazine and will give you more details of where you can find it and when.  If my submission is not accepted, I will be posting my submission in full on this blog page.

Become a follower of my blog to read up-to-date happenings as I pursue the dream of becoming a professional writer/author.  

Week 9 of Healthier Living in 2015

3/18/2015
For week of 3/11 - 3/18-2015
Weigh in Weight:  148.8 lbs. lose of 4 oz.

Week 9 was another emotional week for me.  I was home alone a lot with my toddler son as my husband was needed for pastoral care with the family of the senior high student who died in a car accident last Tuesday and for those in the community who knew her.

Needless to say, I didn't do as much speed walking on the treadmill, but I got creative about getting exercise, while taking care of our son.  My goal each day was to break a sweat being active.  On Thursday evening, I hopped up and down with my son on and off for an hour.  I definitely broke a sweat doing that.  My legs felt it for a few days afterwards too.  :p  That is just one example of my efforts to get a sweat breaking exercise daily while raising a toddler.  I plan to work on this more for week 10.

I journaled a lot during week 9.  I definitely completed my goal of writing in my journal 3 times a week.  It was very therapeutic and helped me to get a lot of sadness over the accident and frustration of being alone a lot off my chest.  And in the process I discovered something very important.  All I want to do for a living is write.  I want to write articles for academic journals, for magazines that I find inspirational like the MOPS magazine I get weekly.  I also want to write histories, novels, children's books and short stories.  I just want to write.  I have begun to set aside time daily to write and to search out avenues to get more of my writing published.  And I will be posting more on this blog on different topics, so stay tuned.

I have decided to permanently keep my goal of getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night on my list.  Week 9 was a disaster in the sleep department.  Between my own issues getting to sleep and my son not sleeping through the night every night, I am definitely sleep deprived.  I am going to make more of an effort this week to get more sleep.

Update after 2 months:

It has been two months since I started blogging weekly about my journey for healthier living in 2015.  So far I have lost 4.6 lbs and am keeping the weight off after yo-yoing for the first few weeks.  I have learned a lot about myself, my resilience and my determination to see things through once I have started them.  Believe me, I have wanted to quit this yearlong exercise many times, but I just can't.  I've blogged weekly about my journey for 2 months, why stop now.  So here's to the next 2 months and beyond.

Goals for Week 10:
1) Journal 3x a week
2) Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night
3) Find creative ways to exercise (break a sweat)

Toddlers, Worship, Motherhood and Prayer

I often wish our churches worshiped more like toddlers and young children do.  They roam, yet are engaged.  They get rambunctious every once in a while and excited to be at church.  As a mother of a toddler, to whom church is like a second home (my husband is an ordained pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA)), my son is comfortable being at church.  He likes to go to service, but doesn't like being restricted.  He wants to roam and say hi to parishioners and hang out with his dad occasionally during church services.  And frankly I would let him, except during the words of institution before communion, if I knew it wouldn't bother others in the congregation.

I find myself every Sunday morning praying before church and during church that my son will behave himself and not be a pain in the butt, but that hardly happens.  Every Sunday, he manages to throw a mini fit that can either dissipate quickly or grow into a full-blown tantrum.  It is a 50/50 chance of either one happening these days.  Why do we stifle our children's excitement and wonder during church services?  Why do we have to teach them to be seen and not heard?  Aren't we supposed to praise God as a community of believers every Sunday?  What's wrong with roaming, respectfully of course, during church or allowing a child to be with their parent who is officiating service as long and the child doesn't start being a menace?  There is a reason most churches don't see many families with young children in church.  Toddlers can be obnoxious and because we feel like we have to restrict them throughout the entire service, most parents decide it is easier to just not go, than suffer through the judgement and embarrassment.

But I refuse to do what most parents do.  My toddler son and I go to church every Sunday.  I suffer through the judgement and embarrassment because my husband and I want our son to have a good faith foundation and to participate in worshiping our Lord with our congregations each Sunday.  Our son knows the Lord's Prayer now by heart and he knows the different parts of the church service.  He particularly enjoys the Kyrie and loves listening to the words of institution for communion.  It is our duty as his parents to teach him about our faith and to pass it on to him the best we can and hope and pray it sticks with him through his life.

And so, I continue to pray that my son will eventually learn how to behave himself in church, even if he just cuts out the fits and tantrums that would be amazing.  I pray for patience from our congregations while my son and I navigate our way through the mucky waters of how to participate in church without losing the excitement and awe that he exhibits every week during service.  I also pray that our churches in the wider sense will someday get over their "a child must be seen and not heard" nonsense and let children be children.  Should children be allowed to run a muck?  No, but what's wrong with a child sitting on the steps of the altar listening to the sermon, or just being closer to his dad?  In my opinion nothing.

If it were up to me, I'd let my son wander and let him hang out with his dad except during the preparation for communion.  Not only would it cut down on the tantrums and misbehavior, but it would be adorable.  So let's start worshiping like toddlers again.  Let's reintroduce the excitement and awe we once felt when we were young children at worship.  Let's be loud and boisterous when appropriate and let's sing our hearts out and shout the Lord's Prayer and Apostle's Creed.  If only we would allow ourselves to worship like toddlers, young children.  The freedom, expression and excitement would be amazing to behold.

Getting Published; a Dream Come True!!

Becoming a published author has always been a dream of mine.  In September of 2014, after much debate with myself and the support of my husband, I started sending out my Master's of Theology manuscript to several publishers, in the hopes that by chance, one of them would be interested in turning my thesis into a book and publish it.  

I didn't hear back from several, but I didn't give up.  I decided to send my manuscript to Tate Publishing, a Christian based publisher.  Not even two days later I heard back from them that they wanted to publish my thesis into a book.  I had to pinch myself because I thought I was dreaming.

Now, 6 months later, my book has come along and I am now in the marketing phase of the publishing process.  I still have a hard time believing that I am going to be a published author.  And now I have the bug.  All I want to do is write, whether it be blogging, or writing down ideas for my next book.  I'm leaning towards a memoir, children's book or devotional for my next book.  I haven't quite decided.  

But I can tell you this, I have completely found my vocation and passion in life; writing.

Become a follower of my blog and I will keep you up to date on when and where you can order my first published book, "Crisis of Identity: Christians as Minorities in the Holy Land, 1798-1948, A Brief History"

Week 8 of Healthier Living in 2015

3/11/2015
For the week of 3/4 - 3/11/2015
Weigh in Weight:  149.2 lbs  lose of 4 oz

Week 8 was emotionally tough for me.  I was plagued with feelings of loneliness and boredom.  Week 8 ended with the death of a student from a car accident.  She was a senior in high school in Fairfield and was baptized and attended Grace Lutheran, one of the churches my husband is Pastor of.  She was supposed to graduate at the end of May and have many more years of adventures.

It brought memories of my senior year flooding back to me.  It released the dormant demons in the part of my memory bank that I keep shut tight so I don't go crazy.  In one fell swoop, I saw in my minds eye every detail of the day I graduated from high school.  How it rained in the morning and then cleared up so it was beautiful out for my graduation party a few hours before the ceremony.  How the clouds started to come back and suddenly grew darker and darker as we waited to march to our seats.  How the downpour started just minutes after we found out that a fellow graduates younger brother was killed in a terrible car accident.  How we were forced to sit in the downpouring rain through the entire graduation ceremony.  The terrible parent speaker.  And afterwards, soaking wet, turning in our destroyed gowns surrounded by mourning people.  The decision to go to others graduation parties despite everything that just happened where we stood in shock not knowing quite what to do until someone made a witty joke and we all laughed, breaking the awkwardness.  And eventually without realizing it, actually having a good time in the end.

I feel for the kids in Fairfield who are going through something similar now.  A needless death of a young, kind, wonderful person is just tragic.

So, I guess I better write about my goals now.  The only goal I completed for week 8 was working on portion control and tracking my daily food intake.  For week 9 I am keeping the goals of getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night and journaling 3-4 times a week.  For week 9, I am adding back daily morning prayer and meditation because I need to continue to ground myself in the Word and focus on the good things in my life giving to me through the grace of God.  So, until next week, Keep on keeping on!

Goals for Week 9: 3/11 - 3/18/2015
1) Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night
2) Journal 3-4 times a week
3) Daily morning prayer and meditation

Week 7 of Healthier Living in 2015

3/4/2015
For the week of 2/25 - 3/4/2015
Weigh in Weight:  149.6 lbs.  lose of 2 oz

I did really well with my goals I set for myself in week 7.  I only lost .2 oz but considering on Monday when I randomly weighed myself I was 151.6 lbs I think I did pretty well, as I lost 2lbs in two days.

I made dinner with my husband Jason a couple of nights using a recipe I found for roasted eggplant, spinach, quinoa and feta cheese on pinterest and then we made a crab and corn chowder that was mostly healthy and delicious.

As part of our health insurance, every year we do activities to earn wellness dollars.  This year I chose to do a double activity.  Everyday I have to record what I eat and my activity daily.  I have found that by logging in my food in take, that I don't eat enough calories each day.  Therefore my body has started to go into starvation mode and keeps everything I eat stored in my body, which prevents me from losing weight.  So I've made a goal of eating at least 1400 calories a day.  Between playing with my child (yes this is an activity category) and speed walking 4 days a week on the treadmill, I am logging quite a bit of exercise daily.  I think 1400 calories a day is a good goal.  I can add more calories per day if I need to, but I'm going to work my way up slowly until I get to the recommended 1800 calories per day from the program I'm using.  By doing the wellness activities, I've been rocking my portion control goal.

I still need to work on getting enough sleep.  Someday my son will sleep through the night and my husband will stop enabling him by getting up and sleeping with him out in the living room every night he does wake up.  When that happens, I will finally get 7-8 hours of sleep.  Until then, I should just go to bed earlier and/or take mini naps during the day.

I think I rocked my week 7 goals.  Some of them I'm keeping for week 8.  For week 8, I'm adding journaling 3 to 4 days a week.  Lent is a stressful season in our household.  Journaling helps me to process my thoughts, vent and realize the good things in my life.

I'm going to sign off for now because it has been a long day and I am actually going to take my own advice and go to bed earlier tonight.  So until next week, Keep on keeping on!

Goal for week 8: 3/4 - 3/11/2015
1)  Get 7-8 hrs of sleep each night
2)  Journal at least 3-4 times this week
3)  Continue to focus on portion control
4)  Continue with wellness activities of tracking food intake and daily activities