I often wish our churches worshiped more like toddlers and young children do. They roam, yet are engaged. They get rambunctious every once in a while and excited to be at church. As a mother of a toddler, to whom church is like a second home (my husband is an ordained pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA)), my son is comfortable being at church. He likes to go to service, but doesn't like being restricted. He wants to roam and say hi to parishioners and hang out with his dad occasionally during church services. And frankly I would let him, except during the words of institution before communion, if I knew it wouldn't bother others in the congregation.
I find myself every Sunday morning praying before church and during church that my son will behave himself and not be a pain in the butt, but that hardly happens. Every Sunday, he manages to throw a mini fit that can either dissipate quickly or grow into a full-blown tantrum. It is a 50/50 chance of either one happening these days. Why do we stifle our children's excitement and wonder during church services? Why do we have to teach them to be seen and not heard? Aren't we supposed to praise God as a community of believers every Sunday? What's wrong with roaming, respectfully of course, during church or allowing a child to be with their parent who is officiating service as long and the child doesn't start being a menace? There is a reason most churches don't see many families with young children in church. Toddlers can be obnoxious and because we feel like we have to restrict them throughout the entire service, most parents decide it is easier to just not go, than suffer through the judgement and embarrassment.
But I refuse to do what most parents do. My toddler son and I go to church every Sunday. I suffer through the judgement and embarrassment because my husband and I want our son to have a good faith foundation and to participate in worshiping our Lord with our congregations each Sunday. Our son knows the Lord's Prayer now by heart and he knows the different parts of the church service. He particularly enjoys the Kyrie and loves listening to the words of institution for communion. It is our duty as his parents to teach him about our faith and to pass it on to him the best we can and hope and pray it sticks with him through his life.
And so, I continue to pray that my son will eventually learn how to behave himself in church, even if he just cuts out the fits and tantrums that would be amazing. I pray for patience from our congregations while my son and I navigate our way through the mucky waters of how to participate in church without losing the excitement and awe that he exhibits every week during service. I also pray that our churches in the wider sense will someday get over their "a child must be seen and not heard" nonsense and let children be children. Should children be allowed to run a muck? No, but what's wrong with a child sitting on the steps of the altar listening to the sermon, or just being closer to his dad? In my opinion nothing.
If it were up to me, I'd let my son wander and let him hang out with his dad except during the preparation for communion. Not only would it cut down on the tantrums and misbehavior, but it would be adorable. So let's start worshiping like toddlers again. Let's reintroduce the excitement and awe we once felt when we were young children at worship. Let's be loud and boisterous when appropriate and let's sing our hearts out and shout the Lord's Prayer and Apostle's Creed. If only we would allow ourselves to worship like toddlers, young children. The freedom, expression and excitement would be amazing to behold.
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