Being the spouse of a pastor comes with many joys and challenges. It has given me a certain perspective about life that is different from those around me. For example, most of my friends' spouses work Monday through Friday, normally getting home around 6pm or so and have Saturday and Sunday to spend with their family. Not with pastor's spouses. Pastors typically get one day off a week, most choosing Mondays because of the business of Sunday worship, etc... My husband takes Fridays off and the morning on Saturdays. But this is not always the case. Some weeks he doesn't get any days off and evenings are for meetings, Confirmation class and Bible studies. I will never know what it is like to live in a house where my husband works a 9-5 job and has weekends off. And after almost 4 years, I am mostly okay with it.
I've learned a lot about myself in my almost 4 years of being a pastor's spouse. I've learned that I love working from home, so I can be around to raise my son and any future children we have. Raising kids is definitely hard, but I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home and work at the same time. And speaking of raising kids, I've learned that it truly does take a village to raise them. I've learned that I need said village to be myself, happy and to keep me from falling into bouts of boredom and loneliness. I'm not a lone wolf and I don't think I ever will be. I need my family and friends to be close; the closer the better.
I've learned that I don't do well in physically isolated situations. I currently live in a small town in rural Montana, where the nearest decent sized population is 35 minutes away. And though I am not impressed by the nearest city, at least there are places to go and people wherever you go. If I were to pick my ideal place to live, it would be a city with a population between 10,000 and 30,000 with lots of culture, well preserved history and with something going on most of the time. I'd like to live within easy driving distance from a major city with theaters, diverse food choices and tons to do all the time.
In light of my living situation, I have learned that I am resilient. I have learned to look for the good things in my life and appreciate the gifts God has bestowed upon me. I have learned to live in the moment, while still being excited for the possibilities of the future. I have strengthened my faith in the Triune God through fellowship with those around me and watching my son learn and discover his faith in God. It is a powerful thing to watch a child discover their faith.
And lastly, I've learned that it's not all about me. It's about our mission of ministry to the world, including our churches in small town rural Montana. It's about my family and friends. And yes, it is about me too. I am important and my wants and needs are important, but it doesn't mean that my wants and needs are the only things that matter. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. I can't lie, it has been a struggle to balance my own turmoil with the bigger picture more often than I would like to admit, but in the end God is with me always and knowing that, I can get through anything. And that is the most important lesson I've learn so far on this chaotic journey of being a pastor's spouse, that no matter what happens, good or bad, God is always with me and I will make it through.
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