The Lenten season is quickly coming to an end with Holy Week upon us. Lent has been a bit of a blur this year for me. These are some of the things that I remember happening, in what I like to call my "Lenten hazy".
I know my husband and I had a date night on a Sunday evening. We went to see the newest Cinderella movie and went out to dinner afterwards. I know my in-laws bought a new house that they will be moving into sometime this summer. I know we have practiced for the Good Friday and Easter cantata every Wednesday since Ash Wednesday after Lenten services. I know that the farmers are getting ready to seed their fields because of the burning and move their cattle to their summer pastures. I know that my son is growing in so many ways and it is amazing to watch.
All of these things have happened and continue to happen, but it is all a blur to me. I think the "lenten hazy" is a coping mechanism to get me through the chaos that is typically part of Lent for pastors. But what people don't always realize is that it is just as busy and chaotic for pastor's spouses. Whether we work and don't have kids yet, work and have kids or stay at home without kids or stay at home with kids, we are dragged along on our spouse's crazy journey. I may be alone in this, but I personally can't wait until Easter Sunday at 12:30 pm when I know all of the Easter services will be done and we'll be getting on the road to head up to my in-law's house for Easter dinner and several relaxing days afterwards. In our synod, the pastors and spouses (if able to) get together for a few days after Easter at Chico Hot Springs, which is about 45 minutes from the Montana/Wyoming border. The border is in Yellowstone National Park. Let's just say, it's amazing. I typically use these days to recoop from the chaos of Lent and Holy Week, taking the time to sleep in and read through my TIME magazines that I am way behind on reading. My wonderful in-laws take care of our son for the week, so my husband and I can get a break, and frankly, my son needs his grandparent time. They always have a great time together. :)
I used to love Lent and Easter. But now that my family is in the thick of all the behind the scenes stuff that goes into planning each service and the time and energy it takes to deal with a 2 year, 8 month old is exhausting. I just want to go to sleep and wake up at 12:30 pm on Easter Sunday. Lent and Holy Week has become more of a season to survive, to get through. But I have also discovered some things about myself during this Lenten season. I discovered that even with my son being a menace the vast majority of the time during Wednesday services, I can still enjoy the services. I enjoy them in a different way than I did before when I would go and sit in the pew and leave right afterwards. Now, I go and sit in the pew, pay attention when I can, and try to see the service through my son's eyes, which is a mix of awe and just wanting to be in the thick of it. He gets so excited that he wants to be right up front and involved. It is just so wonderful to see him grow in his faith and be excited about what is going on. And of course, he wants to be up front with his dad too. ;)
Despite seeing less of my husband, feeling like a single mom sometimes, being alone at services with my son who depending on the day behaves or doesn't during worship services, Lent, Holy Week and Easter are still some of my favorite times of the church year. Now I am going to re-enter my "lenten hazy" so I can survive Holy Week with my toddler son. I just have to make it until 12:30 pm on Easter Sunday and then I can breathe a huge sigh of relief that we all made it through another crazy, chaotic Lenten season.
No comments:
Post a Comment