Oh who am I kidding?! Once I start I just keep going until I run out of things to write about. I haven't written in a while because I have not had much to write about. Well actually that's not completely true.
A friend of mine who moved to Maryland at the beginning of the summer was visiting the last week of August and there was much to entertain that week. I also worked a lot which will pay off when I get paid this Friday. But mostly, I've just been anxiously awaiting my return to academic life. Man, have I missed it!
I started classes on Monday. It was Arabic at 9 in the am. I got up early so then I would miss the worst of the rush hour traffic, and I did. But seriously, if there is some good music on in the morning, I don't mind it too much. Anyway, getting back to it; I had class which is going well and then I went to head off to chapel. I never made it there. Instead my group for the independent study I am taking on Islamic Feminist Thought decided to have an impromptu meeting that was only supposed to be 30 min. It lasted an hour. From there I rushed over to my new adviser, Dr. Charles Amjad-Ali's office to have a short meeting with him about my next two years of study, which turned out to be a mind blowing hour and a half meeting discussing the Crusades, Medieval History and the like. I left with a massive headache but it was totally worth every minute. And I now have a major intellectual crush on Charles. He's a freaking genius!!!
Oh and I worked at the office as well. This all happened my first day back taking classes at Luther. Man it was amazing.
Today was more laid back, which was really good. I got up early again, missed the major rush hour traffic, ran into Jen Kuntz (WOOHOO!!!!! :) which made me happy), went to chapel, walked around campus, chilled in the cafeteria until my bus came and then headed to work. After work I took the bus back to campus, milled around a bit, finished my god-awful reading about historiography in church history, doctrine, and dogmatics, and then came home, where I am now.
Yes, that is a very long and drawn out sentence, but it's nothing compared to some of the German theologians' writings I read over the summer. Seriously, I sometimes felt dumber after our meetings this summer because my brain exploded from the sheer ridiculousness of some texts. Not sure if that makes sense but if you ever take Theological German over the summer at Luther you'll understand.
After my meeting with Charles yesterday, I am at a place where I know exactly what I need to be taking, the direction my papers should take in each of my classes so that the research, if not the paper itself, can be incorporated into my thesis, and I have a general sense of peace about the process which I didn't have coming in.
I know, shocking, me being anxious about something.
But in the grand scheme of things, life is going really great right now. For the first time in a long time I feel like I am moving forward. But how far can one move forward when the past keeps creeping up? I'm not going to lie; it's been a very long and at times life shattering year. But there have been wonderful things that have happened too. Now I am struggling with how to reconcile the two. When people ask me how my year has been, those who have been gone on internship or people I have just not seen for a while, how do I answer them? There are some things you just don't bring up in casual conversation; EVER. Other things are easier to talk about. So what to do, what to do?
I suppose I could lie and leave out the bad parts. No one wants to hear about the bad parts anyway. Most people just want to hear that everything is ok and then they can go back to their own lives feeling good about the fact that they actually asked another person how they are doing, or how they have been. I will admit, sometimes I am one of those people. But if you don't want to hear the whole truth, then why even bother asking? And then again, what about those that really do genuinely care?
I don't know what I'm talking about...I'm just rambling now.
But in all seriousness...it is very strange to be back at Luther as a student. Not in the academic sense. That is the only thing that is not strange but rather comfortable, like finally being back home after a long hard journey. Socially I don't know where I fit in anymore; that is strange. But once things get going and I settle in for the semester, I probably won't even notice.
1 comment:
Hey, I'm one for taking the crap with the cream. Not that that sentence makes a whole lot of sense, but I hope you don't feel you need to sugarcoat stuff about life w/ me. Nor do you need to dig up the past to feel like we're really connecting. But if you want to share, I'm here. If you want to just do crazy stuff, I'm here for that too. Peace sista.
Post a Comment