Back to the Drawing Board...

My brother left today to head back to film school in Florida, and life seems a little more dull now that he is gone again.

Now everything is continuing on as before and I'm back to the drawing board. I spent a little over two hours yesterday afternoon getting ready for my thesis defense tomorrow. Two pastor friends of mine graciously agreed to read my thesis and meet with me to help prepare me for my discussion. I think it went well, and they told my mom that they thought I was more than ready for tomorrow, which is good to know.

Last night I went to see the movie Grindhouse with Ralph. It is so freaking weird, that it is great. It is one of the most bizaare movies I have seen in a long time, which is why I like it so much, especially the first movie, Planet Terror. Robert Roderigez and Quentin Tarrantino are fucking crazy. I love it. But now I have lost my movie going buddy again until he comes back to visit in July. It's just not as fun to go to the movies without my brother unit, because we have crazy discussions about the movie before and afterwards, what we liked about it and what we would have changed and if we were to make a movie what it would be about, etc, etc.... We're kind of nerdy like that.

Ralph also knows how to calm me down when I get too worked up over something stupid. Most people just try and tell me to calm down or try to be supportive, but Ralph, he just tells me to stop being dumb and that it's not a big deal and to get over it. He then tells an amazingly funny joke that makes me laugh for a long time and everything is ok after that. I'm going to miss that.

For example, yesterday as we were driving up to see Grindhouse in Lakeville, I was telling Ralph about this guy who I consider a friend of mine at school, and how I don't understand why this person can't figure out what to say to me and the fact that this person always seems to be extremely uncomfortable around me. I don't know if this makes any sense but it is the best way to describe what happens whenever there is a group of people hanging out and we both happen to be there. This guy acts like he wants to talk to me but he doesn't know what to talk to me about. Here's a helpful hint: just start talking and see where the conversation leads us. So I told all this to my brother Ralph and he just looked over at me and said, "I don't get what the big deal is. I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff, so really, does it even matter?" I thought about it for a second and replied, "no, actually it really doesn't." I was making a big deal out of something that doesn't even matter.

But now I have to try and focus on finishing up school and getting a job, which is hard to do right now, especially the giving a crap about school part. When I am done being over-dramatic about my brother leaving, I'll get back to work. Right now, I just feel like watching some crappy cable TV and taking a nap.