I've been sick the past few days which has totally stunk. I have also had alot of time to think about what happened on Monday with my thesis "conversation" (yeah right, conversation my ass), and I'm feeling a little upset about the result. They decided to approve me with revisions, whatever the fuck that means. So I have decided to fight back. There are somethings worth fighting for and most of the time with this whole process I have taken it, bitched about it, but did it anyway.
I let my advisor tell me what I was going to write about, I even used the outline she wrote for me and I wrote about everything that was on that outline. Now she and my second reader are telling me how I should have written it; well fuck them. I say hell no to that. If they are going to get me to bar myself in the library again for their revisions then they are going to have to do better than the fact that they would have included the information in their paper if they would have written it. Well they didn't fucking write it I did. I included the information I thought was necessary to prove my point. I even asked all of the five other people who read my thesis if I accomplished what I set out to do in an organized and informative way and all replied yes.
But apparently because I left out some information Haemig and Farag would have included if they had written the paper, I now have to hide away in the library again looking through tons of books to find one that might give me the information they are looking for me to add. This is bullshit to the millionth degree and I'm not going to put up with it anymore. I've been fucked over too many times by Haemig, this is the last straw. I'm going to meet with her tomorrow and point blank ask her for a real reason, aside from the fact that I didn't include information she thought I should have in it because it is information she would have included, to why I have to do this. I'm not spending the next two weeks in the library because I didn't write my paper or include information as she would have if she wrote my thesis. This is not her goddamn paper it is mine and I'm not letting anyone no matter who it is take that away from me. I didn't spend the entire month of March, alienating my friends and family, living and breathing my thesis to be told that it's not good enough because it's not written the way someone else would have written it. I gave up too much for that to be the end conclusion.
I am tired of being pushed around and getting crapped all over. So now, I am going to raise some hell and fight back, even if I lose, I'm still going to fight because I don't want to be taken advantage of anymore. I would rather fight and lose than sit back and be completely disrespected more than I already have been.
P.S. My next post will hopefully be more positive than this one is, but right now I just need to vent.
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