I find myself these days pondering many things, among them the ever present question of what does it all mean. I mean let's get real people, I'm not exactly the typical seminary student. I have an issue with authority for one; I am still skeptical about organized religion in general; and I am a bit of a feminist. I've even been told by some friends that I am on the extreme side of being a feminist. So what the hell possessed me to enroll at Luther Seminary and spend thousands and thousands of dollars to get my MA in Church History? Beats the hell out of me. If anyone can provide an answer for me, I'm more than willing to listen. I do not regret my decision, I just find myself, since I'm near the end, asking myself this question quite often these days.
Some may say it is my calling, to which I would agree; but then why am I even more skeptical about organized religion? Is it my education or my ignorance? I don't know, maybe it's both. Either way, I just find it interesting to think about. I also find myself pulling away a bit from everything. I do this because I know I will be leaving to start a new life adventure soon, and I have never been very good at saying good-bye, especially regarding those I have come to care about and deeply respect as my friends/family.
Also, any advice on how to tell someone you like them? Anyone? Bueller? I figure what have I got to lose at this point. I either come off too bold and scare the person away or I'm too subtle and they don't have a clue. Figures. So any advice is greatly welcomed on this point.
Ok, back to the point, which is what does it all mean? What will I say about my years at Luther Seminary when I am old and gray? Is determining a purpose for the things we do completely left up to retrospection? I find that I learn the value of life experiences after they have occurred, both good and bad; but is there the possibility of knowing why we do things while we do them? I don't know if this makes any sense, but hopefully someone will understand what the hell I'm talking about and give me their own insight on the question.
Being the nerdy nerd that I am, I like to think about these kinds of questions whenever I make a transition in my life. I believe most people do this as well, which makes them nerdy nerds right along with me. So I believe that we should all stand up and proudly proclaim our nerdiness together and continue to ask the question "what does it all mean?" every once in a while, at least for the purpose of stimulating conversation.
3 comments:
Nerds unite! I accept my nerdiness and ask with you, "what does it mean?" What does it mean that things don't work out? Or that we find it so necessary to have things mean something? I don't know. But I do enjoy asking the questions. Well, sometimes.
You know I find myself asking that same question and then getting frustrated that once again I have no answer.
Is there an answer?
Are we suppose to have it?
Can we have it?
Why do we think about things which lead to more questions and less answers?
Thanks for making me think.... I think...
Yeah. What's the meaning of anything? The meaning of life? Why do we exist? Why does God create us? What does God want from us? If God want something does that mean God lacks something? How is God perfect if God lacks something? Why would some being in a state of perfection want to change something?
Everything you do in this life is based on your external and internal contingencies. Here is another way to say it. There is you, and there is the environment surronding you. Everything you do is a reaction to the environment. The environment is out of your control. How you react is also out of your control because one, the environment shaped who you are, and two you didn't choose to be born a certain way and to have a certain set of intrinic preferences.
I think life is like a dream. In a lucid dream (the dream state when you are half awake), you can control the outcome of a dream. But in REM sleep, you have absolutely no control over the dream. I think life is like a dream during REM sleep except you are awake!
What does it all mean? I have no clue. I think we should just all love each other. We should drop all the contentions, all the conflicts, all the jealousies, and all that nonsense. We should help each other to get through life and shelter each other from all the pains and sadness.
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